Because you are human? We weren't meant to work 8 hrs a day from 9-5 based on a clock.

If you are making money don't worry about it I'd say.

Keep a good nest egg savings etc. Enjoy it. You deserve it and more time for your child is a great thing.

Given all the negative events in your life, seems like it could be depression/burnout.

IMO, seek professional help, even if that takes a few iterations to find the right fit.

Could say more, but that shouldn't be a public conversation. Reach out if you'd like, I'm easy to find online.

You don't mention your age or how long you have been a developer before 2016. Burnout after 5 years is different than burnout after 25 years.

First, read this about focus: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43715347

Now, it’s only a matter of what you want. When I went through burn out after being laid off the first thing I did was define what I wanted:

* Never again write JavaScript for work.

* Watch TV

* Play games

That became my life goals, basic burn out leisure stuff. What’s important is not the absurdity of the goals, but just knowing what you really want.

When I was at peak burn out I really did not want to write software, but I was really good at writing personal applications. If I really wanted to watch more TV and play more games then I would need a place to store these things free from subscriptions, advertising, analytics, and all that shit we hate. So, I created a home media server with custom media software to make it play from playlists in my IPhone.

After changing careers I realized I could do the enterprise API management way better than the enterprise, so I wrote a dashboard of web servers and docker container management that included a better way to proxy traffic for the home file server.

If the goal is still to maximize time for watching TV and playing games then I need to automate this shit out of the new career. This means adapting this personal dashboard tool to doing job related things. Now I can test and analyze traffic better than the other available tools at work. I still need to write agents for the dashboard tool to run a list of transmission tasks with assertions to close that loop though. Now I have more time for my life goals even at work. My productivity at work appears high.

Your customers is your boss. It is stressful.

Your priorities are in the wrong place. I understand your need to work on your full time business because we all have an addiction to food and shelter. But instead of having a goal to spend more time with family and friends, you want to spend more time on computer based problems?

When you were going through your family issues, were you thinking that you should be spending more quality time with your family or your side projects?

The culture of “I always need to be spending time on my computer and doing side projects after work” is one of the most toxic things about our industry.

Work on your main business for reasonable amount of time, shut your computer down and live your life, enjoy your family and friends - “touch grass”

First things first, it's ok to feel this. Never invalidate your feelings. You clearly have been through a lot and it will affect your daily tasks. Coding is hard, no matter how small or big the project, and it requires a certain type of brain power and capability.

Start by counting your wins. You have somehow made it through hardships and still managed to create something successful - that's one. (a big one)

take it day by day. But know you're not alone. Don't forget to take time for yourself :)

bro you feel depressed and you have built a successful business that pays x2 your salary, I'm wondering what successful business could you build if you were motivated.

I'm not a depressed person and I never had success with building a side project that actually makes money.

I came to conclusion in the last months that it's not about loving to do a thing to become successful in it, it's just doing!

I would not recommend asking people on HN about this. You should seek out a competent mental health professional. These are serious issues, and you deserve competent help.

There are just as many people who give good advice as those that mislead you towards bad advice deceptively on HN. The latter group may actually hold dominance given what I've seen of the structural biases inherent in who gets heard overall.

Useful advice is often removed or downvoted to the point where you don't see it. This is true of all social media today post-AI.

I fully expect this post to be downvoted solely for pointing this fact out, in saying this.

You have a lot of life changes happening all at once. Your support structure is unstable as a result, and this puts extra work on you in cognitive load.

You don't mention how much time you spend on your business, family, etc, but I'd guess its more than half your time for the former most.

Did you take time off for bereavement? (mother, sister, child soon?) Have you done a bucket list?

Failing to take time needed for changes represses issues, and similar to burnout eventually you crack and succumb to the guilt and stress. Are you sure you aren't just burying your head in work trying to ignore reality?

You can only fix this by bringing the issues to the front of your attention and working through the issues, addressing them in turn. There won't be a magic bullet.

Right now, given what you've said it seems like you are trying to hide in your work. It will only get worse the longer you do this.

Repression has a complex relationship with psychosis, and that's important because eventually if you do nothing people crack.

I would suggest you bring someone on to help running the day-to-day of the business so you can take the appropriate time for these issues. Your business must be a bus factor greater than 1 so you don't have to worry about finances during these tough times.

Your lack of focus is most likely your unconscious mind telling you that you are running away from working on important issues you don't want to deal with.

You may not be able to control the circumstances, but you can control what you do about it.

The focus will return once you've worked through the personal issues. If you are unable or unaware of how to go about working on these things, you should seek competent professional help.

Be mindful though, there are many mental health professionals who are not great at their job or that competent. These people may run you in a circle.

If they aren't helping you within a few sessions and you are putting in the work, move on to a new one.

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