Let the battery die on your phone, and live one week without it. Cold turkey. Tell people in advance if you need to, give them an alternate way to reach you. Replace your phone for that week with a small notebook that fits in your pocket.
During that week, every time you want to do something that requires a smartphone, jot it down in your notebook. Then, fifteen minutes later or so, write down what you did instead.
After a week, you're ready to start using your smartphone again and turn it into a so-called "dumb phone." Read your notebook and think honestly about which things you really needed to do, and which ones weren't such a big deal after all.
There's the added bonus that being fully out of cell service effectively removes the ability to cheat altogether, though it seems inevitable at this point that satellite data will be invading the backcountry before long.
Pretty amazing, one focuses on actual adventures, people, food, culture, coral marine life, diving and so on. It felt like spending 2 months there.
Then coming back to all this cheap pathetic crap was a proper 'bleh'.
The most jarring was probably maps - other things like email, messaging etc could be delayed until I could reach a computer but not knowing how to get somewhere right now was problematic and required planning in advance.
I usually kept my smart phone in my car and did a sim swap on the occasion that I really needed it.
but man did I miss maps. need to go somewhere? get in the car, start the engine, look it up on some map app, and then I'm off.
text messaging and being able to send simple photos was also a loss. definitely missed being able to text the wife a photo of something on sale in the grocery store ("hey, 10% off X, wanna give that a try for dinner?"), and I missed how good some of the auto-fill was after a while.
to a much lesser degree, a phone was nice during some downtime. waiting in line for something, killing time in a doctor's office waiting room, etc. 20 years ago they had magazines, now they don't...
eventually after getting lost a couple of times I just tapped out and went back to the Pixel 4
"But what about..?"
Yes, even that.
Once in the morning, once after work, once some time later in the evening if you feel like it.
During working hours there’s rarely any reason to touch or check your personal phone (and in many professions you simply aren’t able to).
During after-work hobbies and/or family time you are for obvious reasons unable to have your phone on your person (it’s in a locker room, or you’re playing with your kids) or unable to pick it up (any creative or performing arts, or you’re having family dinner).
At first it was a bit annoying, but once you know that she works like that it perfectly fine. I'm starting to think that she's doing modern communication correct.
I have about 10 third party apps installed on my phone
Chat, maps, ride share, music, study, and my car
Everything else i do is through the browser.
It’s great. If im on the bus and i want to watch slop, instagram web interface is fine lol.
They will perceive your lack of response as you not prioritising them. This has cost me a relationship. (it was long distance to be fair).
Tbh, (imho, having tried it) in normal circumstances it would be a miracle to make anything really work like that, but at present you're just fighting a losing, nearly irreconcilable battle, unless you're both wholly on the same page about infrequent synchronous communication.
If a relationship relies on immediate responses to async, unpredictable, text-based communication, and what you want is a sane lifestyle, it's going to be a tough situation.
I just tell people that need my attention how to get it. Call me if it's important and/or time sensitive, otherwise I'll just check when I check based on the implied nature of the platform. Instagram is super casual unimportant brainrot usually, Messenger for coordinating plans with older millennials and Gen X family, Whatsapp for younger millennials sometimes, SMS or RCS is slightly more important and I'll get visual but not physical or audible notifications. I make it clear that if it's a group chat, I'll turn notifications off unless I'm specifically tagged, or maybe check in once a week if it's for a specific purpose, but otherwise I hate them. Signal for some things that aren't time sensitive, no notifications, no read receipts on any platform.
And correctly so: you are prioritizing people that contact you in the normal way (via phone calls).
If I send you a text message, it's usually because I don't need an immediate reply; answering me tomorrow is good enough. If I do need a faster reply (if I'm texting an image or some such, or in a noisy place), I'll make a call afterwards, just long enough to set off your ringer so you hear it.
I also deal with notifications in a different manner: I have different ringtones and extensive notification filters set up. Most of my apps will not make any noise with a notification while the screen is off. Most notifications will not show up on the lockscreen. Most notifications will not show up in the status bar. My standard ringtone is an mp3 with a short quiet ring and a long pause before it ends, so while I do get call notifications they're easy to ignore; only important contacts (family) are allowed to bubble or pop on top, and they also get a different ringtone.
I dread migrating my phone, as none of this can be backed up. I changed phones last year and still find the occasional app that I forgot to blacklist notifications for and never noticed because things related to https://dontkillmyapp.com simply prevents it from running altogether when I haven't used it in the past couple days.
Right next to that is OTPs from financial institutions.
Work accounts, camera, and maps are the big blockers for me. I know I can buy a camera but 90% of the times when I take a photo it's to instantly send it via a messaging app, mostly for work.
Is that a distinction without a difference?
Step 1: delete your social media
There is no step 2.
Run the rest of the experiment as described for other categories of use.
Some people have family juggling/concerns that requires frequent contact (usually involving children being remote places).
There are many, many, not so strange reasons that someone might need to maintain contact. Thinking it's not possible suggests a very naive perspective.
I turned my iPhone into pure utility device by uninstalling all the entertainment apps. I only allow music and podcasts as those don’t require my active attention.
Then I have an iPad mini at home which has all the entertainment and social media stuff installed. However I don’t have many opportunities to use that device during the day..
After maybe a week of having this arrangement I found myself being less and less interested in grabbing that iPad. It’s been few months now and I only check my socials maybe twice a week.
Also since I deleted Facebook, Instagram, Threads, YouTube and TikTok from my phone the battery life almost doubled. It was eye opening to see how much these apps drain battery even when the device is left untouched.
I now regularly force myself to "actively" do nothing for 15 minutes and just think.
All the things I put into my brain as "todo, please remember" at some point in time are coming back during these 15 minutes.
I get quite a lot of clarity with this exercise. As soon I pick up my phone afterwards and start browsing the clarity evaporates which feels bad. So wasting time on my phone becomes less and less appealing to me.
Lets see where this leads me. I so far wasted quite a bit of time with my phone.
podcasts? How do you listen and benefit without paying active attention?
I just bought a cheap MP3 player and it has significantly reduced my smartphone usage to the point that sometimes I forgot where left it.
You can still access all the social media from the browser eh?
But this is desperate level of proper addiction, when serious hard look at one's life is by far the best course of action. Professional help is not a bad idea neither. Life can be pretty amazing, but screens won't get you there, in contrary its cheap basic addictive 'fun' for poor.
Many years ago I removed all FB apps and messenger from my phone (due to their crappy engineering their constant snooping of user's activity was, draining batteries fast even when not using them). Have them on desktop only. Pretty amazing move, can't recommend enough.
There is something magical in 2025 to practically disconnect from all the social noise. But one can't be total piece of s*it who can't stand themselves of course.
I have NextDNS profiles on my phone and PC that block problematic sites, as well as the settings dashboard itself to stop me touching it unless I'm on my tablet.
However since you're the account owner (rather than a child), you can always just bypass the Screen Time block... But at least it adds a barrier.
They made this for people with cognitive disabilities, but it also works great for older people. It just wouldn't work for me. I need Jira, Slack, and GitHub during work hours for example. But I don't want them during non-work hours. I realize I'm describing something actually doable in the interface now with focus modes and just holding myself accountable by deleting apps like Tiktok, but I do like the idea of having a way to enforce it.
Not an iPhone, but my solution to this is LineageOS + microG, where I just disable push notifications when I'm not working, or enable them for just the few select apps if I am expecting some messages there. The price for this is that I don't always receive the social app message when it is sent, but that's fine by me.
So do I, but I certainly don't need them on my phone. For the longest time the only work app I had on my phone was some 2FA thing. Then asked them to either buy me a phone or a yubikey. I got a yubikey (and my phone complete free from anything work related).
I'm still bitter about the intrusion of work stuff on my personal phone.
They don't make it clear in the messaging during the sign-up flow, which just says Microsoft Authenticator everywhere. But when you proceed through the steps to get a TOTP code for Microsoft Authenticator, there's a step with a link to something like "I want to use an another authenticor app", which presents a QR code for any generic TOTP app.
However, I've gathered that this is a setting that is up to the organization so your YMMV. Since some employees work at secure sites without wifi/mobile connections they aren't able to turn off TOTP.
I realize it is amusing to even consider offloading OTP generation to a web browser extension however, if `$work` doesn’t want to provide you with the correct hardware (e.g. Yubikey, NitroKey, etc.) there are boundary-respecting alternatives
My question, why do you need them on your phone during work hours? Why aren't you using a desktop/laptop/something else?
Most of these attempts to simplify things are putting idealism at odds with reality.
Does… does my phone addiction and inability for self-control qualify as this?
I was at a talk at FOSDEM this year and they were talking about how most emails now (over 90%) are transactional in nature and not personal. Things like password resets, offers, 2fa, shipping confirmations.
This was a lightbulb moment for me - for years I'd been trying to fight email by using sieve to filter away the most annoying senders and subjects but they're right - almost all email doesn't deserve your immediate attention.
I switched my method to whitelist. I created a folder called Transactional and everything goes in there. Then I started whitelisting certain email addresses to let them get to my inbox. I have around 20, and for the first time in years I'm at a point where I could have notifications for my inbox. I still don't, but they'd be useful now
I've gotten direct responses sent to my spam. I've gotten emails, WITH ATTACHMENTS, sent to my spam from a known email address. Its a good thing I check my spam. Many (most?) don't.
It's inexplicable to me how google, of all companies, can be so consistently shit at search across all their products.
This is probably where I can see the most value from LLMs, the ability to filter all of my emails by urgency without distracting me with notifications from newsletter spam.
I've gone from ignoring my email for weeks at a time and fighting with spam to quickly checking my email every day now.
What is sending you the most emails? What emails did you actually care about?
Yes yes, you can do this technically speaking, but good luck actually trying - everything is so slow and old emails with attachments will simply not download - they won’t load even in the UI sometimes
For me, I did what you did except with a new email address
That address has notifications and they are reserved pretty much for just people - I don’t use it for websites at all - I only give to people whose email id like to see right away
Yes, one way of doing this is to turn on an email client and let it run on your computer for hours and hours to download everything
The problem is that unless you’ve done that incrementally since the beginning, going back and doing it now is unreliable. The take process above is your best bet and probably the best you can actually do, but outside of that there’s nothing that works well
I’ve even written gscripts with different approaches to do it and it always ends up petering out no matter how careful I am
Also, I think some attachments are permanently corrupted because my apps, whatever the app, always hangs when I try to download them
Anyway, this could be made a lot easier if they actually wanted to let people do that
If anything, it’d be great if they had a tool to do it to begin with - I’ve had my account for over 20 years now so just downloading everything is no small feat
I will also point out that free email is not something that should be expected to be a scalable storage service.
That said, the times I’ve encountered this, when the import doesn’t actually fail and appears successful, I still can’t access the specific attachment I’m looking for
It could be an old picture that is probably gone for good but forever shows loading… in the ui
This works pretty well for me, and the key part is Foqos, which is FOSS that allows you to disable certain apps or features with the scan of a QR code or NFC tag. I keep the QR code / NFC tag in a separate building or locked box, so there's real friction if I want to scan it to use the phone beyond basic functionality.
Like the OP, I also have the issue of "semi-important" things, which is mostly email but occasionally some browser thing (often buying or viewing event tickets.) My plan for that is to use Foqos in combination with a QR code + scratch-off sticker, a sort of "break glass in emergency" option that adds some friction but not too much. Print a sheet of identical QR codes, scan it into Foqos as your unlock option, put stickers over them, cut them out and put them in your phone case.
The counter is pretty easy to set up.
Here's how it works on the blog:
1. You set up a schema:
https://github.com/stopachka/stopaio/blob/main/src/instant.s...
2. And then use `presence` to write an ActiveCounter:
https://github.com/stopachka/stopaio/blob/main/src/app/Activ...
As you read the post it should disappear with the scroll.
But whatever the case is, you hit on something right here!
You know you touch on something interesting. I feel like the best 'marketing' or 'networking' happens over decades. Of course this implies that best 'marketing' and 'networking' are often done for a different goal entirely.
I noticed this in my career. I've always been interested in programming and writing, and it would bring me to ask people random questions over email. I'd find myself connecting with the same person 10 years later, and we'd help each other out in some way.
> I am not sure what the solution is to these kind of apps. Maybe I can find a special mail app, that only shows you important emails. If I had something like this I think I would just be over the moon with this setup.
I have always had email notifications turned off and I was always missing important emails, especially from people I cared about. I finally figured out the solution. In Gmail (only tested on Android, can't speak for iPhone) I created a label called "notify". I then created filters for specific emails and words that apply the label. You can turn on notifications in Gmail (for Android at least) for specific labels. That's it! Maybe someone else can confirm that this can be done on the iPhone Gmail app? or something similar
When I get email, it’s highly likely, that’s important.
For me it’s mostly spam/garbage I don’t intend to swift through or even look at.
The friction of having to go to my computer to grant access to my apps on the phone is enough to keep my off social media.
This might be a way back to the iPhone for me though.
I strongly identify with the author's feeling that their phone had a kind of "gravity" before removing these apps. I described mine to somebody as the sense I was carrying around the ring of power in my pocket. It felt heavy.
If you are in a room full of people and you close your eyes, you still feel the presence of those people and your self-consciousness is thus mobilized. There is something similar going on when I have a phone full of apps. Even when it's off, I can still sense their presence and some part of me is still online, idling and using resources to account for that.
I don't use Facebook or other social media on my laptop anyway, so it's nice to have when I need to access something (like marketplace). But other than that, the peace of mind is truly worth the hassle of carrying two phones.
One iPhone that was wifi only, had my entire music library local, used for car play and a few exclusive apps.
One android with a sim that had my communication apps, social media, and some custom tinkering stuff that doesn't exist on iOS.
I did this for about two years. The main takeaways: -I 100% could have just had the iPhone with a sim for communication apps and been fine. The social media was just annoying enough to swap to that I never felt that draw and barely used it on 2phones. -even though I despise how little customization iOS lets you do, without social media or game apps, the only actual pain point with it was the nightmare of managing notifications/alert/vibration/screen wake settings* -god it made me miss small phones so much. The android was a pixel 4a, the last real phone with real hardware that released at the actual ideal size for my hands(that has an unlocked bootloader, I really can't do the Samsung hellOS experience again).
Now Im on a pixel 8 only, with Glider for this site and no other social media or games. It's fine. Phones too big, car doesn't have AAuto, and Google is trying to rot the foundation of android, but for now it's fine and better than the two phone experience because it's less juggling.