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Posted by pseudolus 9/13/2025

Social media promised connection, but it has delivered exhaustion(www.noemamag.com)
346 points | 221 commentspage 4
kingkawn 9/13/2025|
The problem is that ultimately it connects people around ideas because it isn’t taking place in the world, and everyone’s ideas are tired strange remixes of things we happened to grow up around
ookblah 9/13/2025||
unrelated, but i logged in the other day to fb after months away (after the school and charlie kirk shooting b/c i was curious). huge mistake, every other feed item was something political either from a friend or some random page. the experience was decidedly worse than the last time i logged in. i had not been engaging in months and i could instantly feel the pull of wanting to respond or react to something inflammatory. promptly deleted the app again.

SM in its current form is truly a cancer on society. i can't say IG is that much better, but at least i can sort of curate what i want to see and i still see photos from friends and such and just random ads. i know it's just pointless scrolling for a few mins. FB truly is one of those pull you into the echo chamber to tell and show you how to think and it only took a few minutes. i don't even know what years of that does to you.

anecdotally, most people my age already left for other pastures. the ones left there are largely those who joined up to connect back when FB was actually useful and are now around for the ragebait.

jbm 9/13/2025|
Everyone refers to FB and IG as the representatives of social media. FB is a ghost town, and IG is a major advertising online. (I also have said nice things about using FB while in Japan, all of which stand for the time in which I said them; I don't let my children use either.)

What I really find annoying is that Reddit never comes up in these discussions. Just because people tend to agree with the bias doesn't change the fact that it has no doubt left people radicalised. I was watching an Ezra Klein interview with some pollsters after the election, and it even shocked me the level of difference between what polling showed as of importance to most Americans, and what Reddit portrayed as being the common American opinion.

It's a cancer, just like Twitter, but no one ever mentions it. Not even Trump, who you would think would want to squash this safe space.

(I am indulging a bit in conspiracies, but the Elgins Air Force Base conspiracy seems more and more likely given how this site goes unnamed in the US, despite being so busy and so weird)

matesz 9/13/2025|||
> FB is a ghost town

I've done surveys in cities about what social media people use and came to the same conclusion. However, I was completely wrong.

Facebook is so alive and well it's hard to believe. Besides that they skillfully connected two ecosystems together and there is much more people having FB than IG. Stories show up in messenger and quietly lead back to facebook just as links to fb videos people send to each other frequently.

It's just that people simply lie in their actual usage patterns because it's really uncool.

Primary people's identity online is still their Facebook profile.

JumpinJack_Cash 9/13/2025||||
> > FB is a ghost town

FB is not a ghost town, you think that it is because no "thought leader" of the stuff you are interested in (tech, finance, business, stock market etc.) has their major presence or main channel of distribution of content on FB as they are mostly on YT and Twitter.

jbm 9/13/2025||
I called it a "ghost town" because none of my friends post on it anymore. There is nothing social about it, it is like a message board at this time.
yusyusyus 9/13/2025||||
reddit has a lot of sick puppies of all sorts and kinds. that is not a place of wellness in any sense ime.
ookblah 9/13/2025|||
reddit largely went the same way as FB for me and it's continuing full steam, but for now i can at least stick to topics i want to lurk about. never saw the need for twitter or tiktok (former i can't express myself adequately and the entire place felt like hot takes. tiktok i suppose is like the next level IG but i'm happy being the older guy getting the "trickle down" content to ig heh).

everything is so polarized and vitriolic now to gain views. i used to love online discussion and debate. i find it a fruitless endeavor the majority of the time now. mainly just to give my 2 cents as some kind of self-carthasis lol. HN is probably the only place i bother to expend actual energy writing a comment.

austin-cheney 9/13/2025||
> Social media was built on the romance of authenticity.

It never felt authentic to me. It always felt like a computer algorithm to create unnatural echo chambers at the full blast of a firehose.

sedgjh23 9/13/2025||
I think the romance of authenticity is something only old people like me got to experience e.g. the early days of thefacebook. It died a few short years(?) after when the algorithms took over.
gausswho 9/13/2025|||
Facebook died with the like button. Twitter died with retweets.
pndy 9/13/2025|||
The early days of social media were indeed fun and 'innocent' - people shared stuff they liked with no ill intent but that didn't last long.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45222562 - this was posted yesterday; people back then hyped this "information superhighway" and from today's perspective it was adorably naive. What they couldn't predict or know was the malice we got some 15 years ago - hell, neither we could see that coming. We got social media that manipulate opinions and behavior, predatory ad industry that tracks us all around, and mobile devices that turns us into zombies. People often call for Orwell's 1984, less frequently for Huxley's Brave New World but we're living in a dystopian world right now and we're quite content with it.

Subscribe and hit that bell notification button for more content.

ahartmetz 9/13/2025|||
You don't even need the algorithm, the type of social network (the connection graph) is enough. I disliked Facebook-style social media right from the start because people's self-presentations were performative right from the start.

There wasn't the slightest romance of authenticity for me.

tgv 9/13/2025|||
My take on this kind of view: it wasn't built on authenticity or social connection. That was what the enthusiasts were claiming it would be. It was a reference to something known, very superficial in nature, only meant to to increase the appeal.
riffraff 9/13/2025|||
There was no algorithm in the original Facebook and Twitter.

The echo chamber you got was the same you get in real life: your friends and family may share your pov and bias.

IshKebab 9/13/2025|||
It was authentic (whatever that means) back in the day when Facebook was just for university students. Your friends were actually friends (more or less), the only things in the feed were actual messages from them. No tiktok style trash.

Started going downhill when they let everyone go on it, and never implemented anything like Google's "circles" idea, which meant you ended up with your crazy aunt as a "friend", the feed became less relevant (I don't care about her Christian cult), people wanted to post on it less...

By the time they added post sharing and the algorithm it was pretty much dead. We all switched to WhatsApp for actual socialising. In some ways it's not as good, but it doesn't have ads or shared content (for now).

The only thing I use Facebook for is the Marketplace, which is... okish. And for Facebook Groups which are still pretty useful.

esafak 9/13/2025||
Facebook always had the ability to organize contacts, but few people use it. https://www.facebook.com/help/200538509990389/
cindyllm 9/13/2025||
[dead]
citizenkeen 9/13/2025||
I just want Discord but a forum. I would pay good money to that
esafak 9/13/2025||
Discord has "forum channels". https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/6208479917079-...

What aspects of conventional forums are you looking for?

layer8 9/13/2025||
The absence of chat channels, I suppose.
esafak 9/13/2025||
Forums had chat channels too; e.g., https://chat.stackoverflow.com/

Sometimes it just did not have live updates: https://forum.vbulletin.com/forum/general/chit-chat

gethly 9/13/2025||
internet too was a great place before there were too many people online. social networks met the same fate. there is a critical mass for the amount of interacting people that when reached, the system becomes the opposite of what it was built for - connection.

i guess it goes back to the Dunbar's Number, but on steroids. on the other hand, too much of anything turn from good to bad so it's not unexpected result either way.

darkpicnic 9/13/2025|
I created an open source tool to help apps stay near the Dunbar Number: https://highlyprobable.io/articles/ten-cubed. I think the concept of social networks is interesting, but the ultimate unbounded result is a disaster.

Edit (missing link to github repo): https://github.com/darkpicnic/ten_cubed

tannhaeuser 9/13/2025||
Yeah, original title I upvoted was the actual title of TFA "The Last Days Of Social Media". Why is it different now? This is against HN rules.
panstromek 9/13/2025||
I love the term "semantic sludge"
cynicalsecurity 9/13/2025||
It's still social and it still connects people. You are simply on the wrong platforms.
thefz 9/13/2025|
Because everything must be profited off, so the platform itself is a vehicle for products.
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