Posted by kafked 9/13/2025
As much as the site is an incredible outlet for absurd creativity, some of the creations would actually work as small batch orders. The octopus hoodie is a great example, and I would not be surprised if there were people willing to get different variations of it. (Lovecraftian flavour, anyone?)
OP: well done, you have unleashed on this world a toy more addictive than a cocaine enema.
No offense to you meant, but I wonder in general where the need for this kind of hyperbolic phrasing comes from. As it seems to be everywhere on the internet.
In this case I thought it would fit with the already absurd tones exhibited in the thread. More generally, the technique is not "hyperbolic phrasing" as much as deploying a comedic angle. Comedians (especially oneliner and short-form comics) often seek ways to emphasise a visual image. The more vivid the mental imagery, that much more effective the double punch of the words and the internal visual hit.
The same technique is also occasionally used by some of the most effective tech talks; if you manage to combine a factually correct detail distillation with a punchline that invokes a strong and somewhat controversial mental image, that has a high likelyhood of being remembered.
That is not how I imagined the handset to be attached! How would you even close the laptop?
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That's not a parabolic antenna. But I like the 3-digit minute.
Update -- the Pet Rock is still out there. Just checked on Amazon. It's an indelible monument to consumerism.
People in some Third World countries can't get their hands on a liter of clean water by selling their children, and we're buying Pet Rocks.
"The Dragon Dildo is a handcrafted adult toy shaped like a majestic dragon's head, complete with intricate scales and fiery details. Upon penetration, the dildo emits gentle wisps of smoke that simulate a mythical breath attack. Users report heightened intimacy experiences due to the intense fantasy simulation.
As users reach climax, their partner receives subtle telekinetic nudges guiding their touch. This innovative feature enhances mutual pleasure by predicting and adapting to individual desires."
> The Diphthong is a specially crafted musical instrument consisting of two entwined harmonicas emitting dissonant tones when played simultaneously. Its unique design allows players to generate unstable vibrations within their vocal cords upon inhaling through either end. The resulting sounds defy linguistic classification and evoke feelings akin to euphoria among listeners who understand the concept of connotative ambiguity.
This is great. Got a few chuckles out of me. RIP your inference bills tho.
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