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Posted by publicdebates 2 days ago

Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

Countless voiceless people sit alone every day and have no one to talk to, people of all ages, who don't feel that they can join any local groups. So they sit on social media all day when they're not at work or school. How can we solve this?
766 points | 1202 commentspage 17
taco_emoji 2 days ago|
Eliminate the Internet. I'm not joking -- it's much, MUCH harder to be lonely if you don't have Amazon, Instacart, UberEats, and social media fulfilling various needs in your life.
davidguetta 1 day ago||
Put the smartphone down in the evening
hwhehwhehegwggw 2 days ago||
People who live in London, how did you find a solution for this? I am interested in hearing what you tried. I am in my very early 30s. Single male. I didn't feel up in UK. Moved here I my 20s.
bfrog 1 day ago||
Move to a country that lives outside and isn't car dependent.
newsclues 2 days ago||
Learn to use smartphones as tools, not as all consuming attention sinks.
dymk 2 days ago|
Learn to use meth responsibly, how hard could it be…
arjie 2 days ago||
I am somewhat suspicious of this loneliness epidemic. 81% of Americans are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0]. And my personal experience is that both close friends and general civil community is easy to find[1]. I wasn't trying at all so it can't be that there are any real constraints here.

0: https://news.gallup.com/poll/655493/new-low-satisfied-person...

1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.dev/w/Blog/2025-10-09/Community

nyrikki 2 days ago||
I don't think [0] is showing what you think it does.

> % Very satisfied with the way things are going in personal life

That Dropped from 65% in 2020 to 44% in 2025

> Record-Low 44% of Americans Are 'Very Satisfied' With Their Personal Life

Also focusing on the raw percentages of these style reports is challenging, due to socially desirable response bias [0]

The fact it is dropping is the important part, it is a relative measure, not a absolute one, and I am sure Gallop would change there questions/responses in a modern survey that didn't need to maintain compatibility with historical data.

[0] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5519338/

arjie 2 days ago||
* Gallup (not Gallop) has the English questions and responses in the PDF at the bottom of the page. They will also respond if you email them so you can check if wording changed significantly.

* Yes, I am pretty sure the Gallup thing is showing exactly what I think it does considering I said "81% are [somewhat] satisfied or very satisfied" and the Gallup survey shows that 81% are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied.

* The fact that the Hacker News community was enthusiastic about the thesis of a loneliness epidemic during a period when satisfaction was rising casts aspersions on "the fact that it is dropping is the important part". When satisfaction was rising, there were still posts on that where everyone was agreeing about how bad it was.

nyrikki 2 days ago||
I was looking at the PDF [0] and [1] and [0] calls out:

> In addition to sampling error, question wording and practical difficulties in conducting surveys can introduce error or bias into the findings of public opinion polls.

``QN5:Personal Satisfaction is a binary question``, with a category for refused/didn't know that WAS NOT OFFERED IN THE QUESTION, with an additional question asking about very, sort of etc... They call out `QN5QN6COMBO: Personal Life Satisfaction`

I can't answer the HN sentiment straw man, the DELTA from previous results is what is important. Using it as an absolute scale would almost certainly be discouraged if you asked them via the email address in the PDF.

Basic statistics realities here, and Gallup knows the limits far better than the comment section here. And they understand that "81% are [somewhat] satisfied or very satisfied" especially when presented as two trivial properties, has limitations.

Once again they asked:

> In general, are you satisfied or dissatisfied with the way things are going in your personal life at this time?

Then followed up with:

> Are you very [satisfied/dissatisfied], or just somewhat [satisfied/dissatisfied]?

Note how both of those are binary, with a NULL being an option to mark down as an exception.

You do not have quintiles at all.

[0] https://carsey.unh.edu/sites/default/files/media/2020/07/gal...

[1] https://news.gallup.com/poll/1672/satisfaction-personal-life...

arjie 2 days ago||
I don't think it's a straw man. If it is true that the delta matters and it is also true that at the time when this metric was showing the most positive results and trending upwards, online communities such as this talk about the existence of the loneliness epidemic https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20468767 then one must ask oneself whether this is a property of the online communities in question.

At the time when the gallup poll showed an upward trend towards its peak this community was talking about the loneliness epidemic. When the gallup poll shows a downward trend toward its lowest, this community is talking about the loneliness epidemic. And it's the change in satisfaction that is the most significant. So there are two changes in opposite directions causing the same conclusion.

If this were happening to me, I would ask myself "Am I sure this is a general property and not just a property of me?". Do you find this not convincing to move your estimate of the likelihood of the loneliness epidemic actually existing? If you don't, it's all right. We can leave it here.

munificent 2 days ago|||
> 81% of Americans are satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0].

No, 81% are "very satisfied" or "somewhat satisfied". I don't think "satisfied" is synonymous with "somewhat satisfied".

It's worth noting, as the article states, that this is the lowest value in the history of the poll, going back to 2001.

It shouldn't be too surprising that the overall value is high and stable over time. Hedonic adaptation[1] is a core property of our emotional wiring. The fact that the value is the lowest it's been in a quarter century should still be ringing alarm bells. We are not OK.

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill

arjie 2 days ago||
It's a 5 point scale, so landing a 4 or 5 on satisfaction on a 5 point scale seems significant. Also, when the value was at its highest in that time series, Hacker News had articles like this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20468767

The comments there are full of people describing this loneliness epidemic when 65% of people were very satisfied and 90% of people were "somewhat satisfied or very satisfied". No matter what surveys of people's satisfaction with their personal lives show, there appears to be an enthusiasm for this subject of the loneliness epidemic. This makes me suspect that this is less an epidemic than an 'endemic' (if you'll forgive the word).

Regardless, I didn't intend to mislead so I'll edit it to say "somewhat satisfied or very satisfied (4 or 5 on a 5 point scale).

munificent 2 days ago||
> It's a 5 point scale, so landing a 4 or 5 on satisfaction on a 5 point scale seems significant.

No, it is absolutely not. Gallup is not asking "on a scale of 1-5, how would you rate your satisfaction?" They are asking:

"In general, are you satisfied or dissatisfied with the way things are going in your personal life at this time? Are you very [satisfied/dissatisfied], or just somewhat [satisfied/dissatisfied]?"

When it comes to surveys and social science the specific wording of questions has a huge impact on the results.

arjie 2 days ago||
Sure, and 81% of people are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied. And the loneliness epidemic thesis was popular around the time that very satisfied was at its peak of 65% (when somewhat or very satisfied summed up to 90%).
yannyu 2 days ago||
Did you read the article you cited or are you just evaluating the snapshot of numbers?

> WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Forty-four percent of Americans say they are “very satisfied” with the way things are going in their personal life, the lowest by two percentage points in Gallup’s trend dating back to 2001. This also marks the continuation of a decline in personal satisfaction since January 2020, when the measure peaked at 65%.

> Record-Low 44% of Americans Are 'Very Satisfied' With Their Personal Life

And then to link to your own blog post as though that were a supporting citation is strange to say the least.

It's a lot of "just stop being depressed" energy.

arjie 2 days ago||
My blog post is a more detailed expression of a sentence that starts with "my personal experience". I think that's fine.

And of course I read the article. That's why my sentence explicitly says "satisfied or very satisfied" whereas the text you quote only selects the "very satisfied". One can imagine that if I had only linked without reading I could not possibly have guessed 81% correctly either.

I'm not saying "just stop being depressed". I'm questioning that any significant portion of the population is depressed. I think that's valid.

publicdebates 2 days ago||
I can only speak anecdotally from what I have seen in TikTok videos and TikTok comments, and yes, a significant portion of people in society are very depressed, and drinking/smoking/screwing their way through it, putting on a Joker smile.
arjie 2 days ago||
I think certain populations have this effect, yes. As an example, teen suicides have genuinely risen in the US in the post-smartphone/post-social-media era. So I think the evidence (suicides are not subject to measurement error as much) is pretty strong that certain populations (all teenagers, for instance) are encountering unhappiness to a great degree.

But TikTok is renowned for having an algorithmically tailored feed that is specifically engagement maximizing. While there are some selection effects in the people one encounters in normal life, surely one must concede that an algorithmically tailored feed maximizing engagement cannot possibly be anything but highly selected.

keat007 1 day ago||
They'll come out with an antidepressant that increases oxytocin and sociability maybe like MDMA without the downsides that's the cure.
codegeek 2 days ago||
I dont know the solution but few things that are root cause:

- Internet and Social Media

- Neighborhoods no longer are walkable especially suburbs at least in America. Kids are not encouraged to go bike to their friends place anymore because of traffic risks.

- High Trust societies have degraded into "lets keep ot myself, I can't trust anyone these days". Decades ago, you could just walk into a neighbor's home and say hello. Now, you need an appointment just to talk to a neighbor or are too worried what they will think of you.

- No real friendships after school/colleges. This is a huge deal once you are out on your own in the real world. Work relationships are meh at best and with remote work nowadays, it has become even worse.

- Even if you join a club or activity, they are too "planned" and "robotic". For example, my kids take a dance class and they said they don't like it. I realized why. There is no break. They don't even get to spend like 30 mins with other kids socializing etc. There is a fixed schedule. You go, you dance, you leave.

But this is the world today. So I don't know how to fix it.

boilerupnc 1 day ago|
Related: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

https://archive.is/BIcjb

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