Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony

Posted by gavinray 1 day ago

Building from zero after addiction, prison, and a felony(gavinray97.github.io)

881 points | 400 commentspage 7

Nuzzerino 1 day ago|

That’s cool. Unfortunately, today, sobriety doesn’t guarantee that AI companies won’t kill off what’s left of your career (which somewhat weakens the incentives to do so). But congrats!

gavinray 1 day ago||

  > sobriety doesn’t guarantee that AI companies won’t kill off what’s left of your career

You're being downvoted, but I'd be lying if I said I don't see that as a distinct (and logical) possibility.

The ironic thing is, I work for one of those "AI Companies" ;^)

Claude Code and Codex have done most of my work for the last year, and with the pace of AI improvement, I'm not sure that you'd need (or even want) me in the mix.

From a business perspective, it makes a lot of financial sense, too.

I'm sure it's a limited amount of time before I'm dead weight, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, and I'll figure something out if/when it happens =)

Nuzzerino 1 day ago||

My lived experience doesn’t care what the downvotes say (many here are privileged, after all), and it is only a matter of time imo unless something is done about the industry to change course.

girvo 1 day ago|||

> unless something is done about the industry to change course

There will be no change of course, sadly.

himata4113 1 day ago|||

I see karma as form of a currency to afford getting downvoted. I actually don't mind the downvotes especially when it's followed by a comment on why. Helps me see parts I've missed.

tux3 1 day ago|||

I wouldn't internalize that idea too much. In a lot of countries traffic fines are a fixed amount, so some people feel like they don't have to respect traffic rules since they can afford to just pay the fine.

It's one way to process the negative feeling of being fined. But it doesn't really make the roads safer.

himata4113 1 day ago||

Goes both ways, if you're afraid of getting downvoted you might never find out that people actually agree with you, same goes with traffic tickets sometimes they don't make sense especially related to parking in crowded cities and ebikes, as long as you're not an asshole about it it's fine.

incompatible 1 day ago|||

I find the downvotes excessive for this kind of thing. They are basically a censorship mechanism, enough downvotes and a comment will basically disappear. I've used it about twice since I got the ability several years ago, and both times it was somebody promoting a Trump-related conspiracy theory.

himata4113 13 hours ago||

bad takes usually cap at around ~2-3, horrible takes or spam go all the way to -5 and die.

incompatible 3 hours ago||

Maybe in some cases it stalemates at this 2-3 point, people downvoting because they disagree and people seeing it turn grey and upvoting.

irishcoffee 1 day ago||

Have an upvote. Sobriety is an expectation. I will say though that people I’ve known who went through the journey are some of the smarter people I’ve met. Not all of them, but the whole numbing yourself because your brain can’t quite understand all the thoughts it has, that’s a real thing. Probably sounds insane, but it’s real.

throwaway87330 13 hours ago|

I'm going to be a bit insensitive, sorry.

I've read many similar stories, in nearly all of them a couple of helpful friends always show up to save the day. I find it absurd that some people consider this zero.

I too was bullied during all my childhood, I haven't had a single friend in my life, I can barely imagine the possibility of being able to ask a favor from someone and even receive something.

Having someone to rely on sounds luxurious to me. My life has been a series of rejections. Apart from that I was always healthy, able to provide for myself, but I don't have a story. Somehow I feel like that if I could start a new life, I would choose one like this guy's rather than relive mine.

gavinray 13 hours ago|

  > I haven't had a single friend in my life
  > I can barely imagine the possibility of being able to ask a favor from someone and even receive something
  > My life has been a series of rejections

It's true, I had a lot of help, and that's not universal.

I'm going to say this, and I mean it genuinely, so please do not find this insensitive:

What if you went to lunch with someone, and the first things they said to you were those 3 quotes at the top?

You'd probably much rather hear something like:

  > I haven't had much luck making friends, YET
  > In the past, I've not been very good at asking others for help, and sometimes I get afraid if I did, they might not give it
  > I've been through a lot of hardships, SO FAR

Even if we don't say things out loud, our mental states and attitudes are clear as day to others around us. You can tell when someone is upset, or having a bad day, without ever speaking to them.

One of the most impactful things a mentor once told me is:

  > "We are the stories we tell ourselves."

Look at the story you tell yourself today, in those quotes above.

I want to genuinely ask you, to give "telling yourself a different story" a try. You might be surprised at how well you can "fake it 'til you make it!"

Sorry to hear that life has been a struggle for you and that you've not had a good support system to aid you.

But it doesn't have to stay that way -- every day you live & breathe is an opportunity to start the first chapter of a very different story...

throwaway87330 13 hours ago||

I appreciate your comment.

Again, I'm sorry for venting. I was triggered, but didn't mean to downplay your experience.

I found that opening up to people about deep personal issues makes them steer clear even faster.

gavinray 12 hours ago||

You don't have to apologize! Your feelings are yours, and if it's not hateful, no shame in expressing them

I really do think if you put your mind to shifting the framing/perspective of your feelings though, that you can have a much different future than past

Hoping things start to go your way, mate

(And yeah, definitely don't dump personal issues on new friends. I find that making friends is much easier if you ask thoughtful questions after listening to them and letting other people do most of the talking at first.)