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Posted by rfarley04 5 hours ago

Gateway 2000's hilariously bad ads in the 90s (Part II)(buttondown.com)
61 points | 52 comments
SalaevAl 2 minutes ago|
This brings back memories. In my city, there were no computers for sale in regular stores in the early 90s. My first computer was a second-hand ZX Spectrum. I still remember how excited I was when I finally got one.
ecliptik 2 hours ago||
The hippie copy mentioned was the ad my dad bought our first PC from. He was coming back from a business trip and asked the company computer guy to help him choose one for our family. We ended up with the 486DX2-50MHz "Integrated VESA System" [1].

Calling the Gateway 2000 customer support 800 number was my introduction to understanding computers and I am grateful to their staff for being patient with a 12 year old.

We got rid of it in the early aughts, but I kept the CPU all these years. Recently I found a similar Gateway slimline desktop (badged a 486DX2-66MHz) and have been using Claude to port things to DOS on it, like Cave Story [2][3]. The original 50MHz CPU still works.

1. https://books.google.com/books?id=L2RD68Gg2sMC&lpg=PP1&pg=PA...

2. https://github.com/ecliptik/doskutsu/

3. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YLFztifZKQ8

redm 1 hour ago||
For a while in the 90's, I did Gateway 2000 tech support. It's nice to hear you had a good experience :) The mandate was to move quickly while also solving the customer's problem (which is harder than it sounds over the phone).
niwtsol 59 minutes ago||
I was very young and I tried to upgrade the RAM on our gateway computer. I used the wrong type of RAM and fried (or broke) the motherboard. When I talked to gateway support, I think the person on the other end could tell what happened but took pity on me and allowed us to get a new motherboard under warranty. I had completely forgot that story until your comment here, thanks for the reminder on why I double check all the specs before rummaging around in there.
ecliptik 46 minutes ago||
That's great they replaced it under warranty. I thought I broke the IDE connector once on the motherboard when re-connecting the cable because a pin was missing. The Gateway support rep calmed me down on the phone and that's how I learned about cable keying.
Dwedit 1 hour ago||
For DOS, your choices are basically DJGPP C compiler, or using the HXDOS DOS extender. But how well would Cave Story work on 50MHz?
ecliptik 50 minutes ago||
I've am working my way through benchmarking it on a few different CPUS [1]. A Pentium Overdrive 83MHz gets around 30fps, and the 486DX2-66MHz around 20fps. Because the 50MHz will use a bus speed to 25MHz I am expecting it to be 10-15fps.

Even with a lower frame rate gameplay is relatively smooth with having a fixed-timestamp mode [2].

The biggest difference in performance is the sound backend [3]. Gravis Ultrasound and Adlib for some reason halve the framerate on all cpus and it's the next challenge to point Claude at.

1. https://github.com/ecliptik/doskutsu/blob/main/docs/FPS-MATR...

2. https://github.com/ecliptik/doskutsu/tree/main#fixed-timeste...

3. https://github.com/ecliptik/doskutsu/blob/main/docs/SOUND.md

sgarland 2 hours ago||
> And you won’t get to brag that you own a computer from Iowa.

South Dakota. Gateway was HQ’d in North Sioux City, SD.

There is also a South Sioux City, NE, though to my knowledge no computer manufacturers have had a presence there.

My dad worked at Gateway in the mid-late ‘90s and early ‘00s. Employee perks were pretty decent for the time; for example, he could borrow a laptop to play with and learn on at home — we used this almost entirely to play games, since we had a hand-me-down 486 at the time. They would also give you a PC in agreement for continued employment for N years. We got a Pentium III 550 MHz screamer of a system, which was absolutely bonkers for my young self.

rfarley04 2 hours ago||
You're right! That was a not entirely clear enough reference to Gateway 2000's first ad, in 1987, which famously used the headline "Computers from Iowa?"

https://buttondown.com/suchbadtechads/archive/gateway-2000-p...

addaon 2 hours ago|||
> They would also give you a PC in agreement for continued employment for N years.

Do you mean that in exchange for accepting a PC, he had to agree to a multiple-year enforced contract? Is the right to leave a company even a right that one can sign away in the US? Would people really do that for a few thousand dollars? That seems shockingly close to indentured servitude... "we'll pay two months of your rent up front, but you can't quit for five years no matter what we do to you."

Aurornis 2 hours ago|||
No, you can’t force people to continue working at your company by contract.

These agreements work like signing bonuses. The compensation is given up front, but if you leave before N months then you need to return the compensation or some times a pro-rated version of it.

to11mtm 2 hours ago||||
There's actually a mortgage company that does worse; They call it the 'People Promise', and it sounds like a bonus, but;

1. It's actually a loan.

2. If you leave or are terminated at any point for the period, you have to pay back the ENTIRE loan amount.

3. Because it's a loan, if you -do- survive employment through the term, guess what, you now have to pay tax on the 'forgiven loan'.

4. If you don't take it, you don't get hired.

beering 1 hour ago|||
Number 3 sounds like nothing out of the ordinary? Any bonus you get from an employer, granted or otherwise, has to be taxed at some point. This just sounds like a weird signing bonus.
JoBrad 2 hours ago||||
Each of your points escalated over the last one, somehow.
Aurornis 2 hours ago|||
Why not name the company?
nilamo 38 minutes ago|||
UWM, United Wholesale Mortgage. Their location near me (Detroit suburbs) has closed, but not after getting an awful reputation that's somehow worse than Quicken or Rocket Mortgage.
to11mtm 11 minutes ago||
Well, they still have their Pontiac HQ.

I've never worked there, I've only had the pleasure of knowing some former employees that were way happier at RKT, and the observation that the most toxic manager I have ever worked under [0] apparently had a pretty good run there after he got booted from our org [1]. What was more striking was, I had a very short stint at an org that tried to 'Emulate' their management style and it was the fastest I ever left a job.

[0] - The kind of guy who's previous wives both left him so hard they didn't even try for custody, so he was having a 'thing' with a different department's manager while her husband was dying of cancer. The creepiest moment was when she brought her kid to the office and the <10 year old kid was dressed up in the same outfit as this 40-50 something dude.

[1] - He eventually got too bold and turned on his 'lieutenant' (who also for a time would dress just like him). Once that dev lead finished the HR 'Training' that they were subjected to, he stopped the behavior of preventing the dev groups from communicating with each other. That cross communication led to a bit of a quiet internal revolt across the whole Dev org.

evilduck 24 minutes ago|||
https://www.uwm.com/
majormajor 2 hours ago|||
Usually signing bonuses are "pay back all or a pro-rated percentage if you leave before [date]"
addaon 2 hours ago||
Sure, but that's just lending you a computer at that point, unless they expect you to cover the depreciation cost or something when returning it.
quickthrowman 1 hour ago|||
Gateway was located in Sioux City, IA before they moved to South Dakota in 1990: https://medium.com/@madmedic11671/behind-the-spots-the-story...

Sioux City is near a tripoint where Iowa, South Dakota, and Nebraska located in the Missouri River floodplain so it is natural they would have operations in two states at some point in its history. I just drove through here and spent a weekend in the area, Ponca State Park (NE) is lovely!

colechristensen 1 hour ago||
It is effectively the same city in three states, but most of it is in Iowa. Of course there are separate entities because it's in different states but if it weren't they would have all combined.
mrloopex 2 hours ago|||
Let’s be clear: they were Lego-ing together parts from China. There were no mass produced PC components in the US by the 90s.
timcobb 2 hours ago|||
Probably not china so much as Taiwan, japan, other places
mrloopex 48 minutes ago||
Actually yes China. Hong Kong specifically before the manufacturing boom moved to mainland. By the 90s Japan had lost its DRAM edge and was not making any PC peripherals en masse. TSMC was barely three years old in 1990.
Sharlin 33 minutes ago||
Technically Hong Kong wasn't China back then.
Theodores 1 hour ago|||
In the UK a typical Gateway 2000 desktop PC came with a Trinitron screen, made by Sony in South Wales.

Their business model for the UK was the same tax scam as Apple, Dell and others. Everything was mail order, operating out of Dublin.

Their products had quality multimedia toys (CD, speakers, decent screen, keyboard with extra programmable keys) combined with decent CPU/RAM/ROM/graphics for the price.

I did support for a small company that bought Gateway (in the UK) and there certainly were no 'Made in USA' labels anywhere.

I really liked their machines and I bought one myself because it had that Trinitron screen at a bargain price. I was very happy with that machine. In the UK they went a bit sour after dropping the '2000' branding with the cow spots.

Their laptops were not as successful as their desktop machines, where they never quite managed to compete in either the 'value for money' or 'nice to have' sectors. Dell, Toshiba and even Compaq had preferable laptops.

Their success in the UK was the Dell model (Ireland tax fiddle), except they didn't make you wait weeks for your machine (like Dell did, with it having to be 'built to order').

timcobb 2 hours ago||
> We got a Pentium III 550 MHz screamer

Super nice

incanus77 2 hours ago||
I worked at a mall Radio Shack in ‘98-‘99. A Gateway store opened up at the other end of the mall. This being the times they were, Radio Shack had partnered with Compaq to sell P2 & (I think) P3 desktops, the beginning of its downfall of selling other companies’ stuff and losing out to places like Best Buy.

We used to emphasize that you could buy a computer with us and go home with it today, whereas down the hall, you could buy it but it would come in the mail later. Their store had demos and the big cow-patterned boxes around, but no inventory.

Also around then, I applied for and got a Gateway-branded, Holstein-patterned credit card, which I promptly maxed out to buy my own first modern computer, a P2 build not from Gateway, but from Midwest Micro. I learned Red Hat Linux on it, reading the manual on break at work even before the computer came, and it began my real career.

So lots of adjacency to Gateway, but no real firsthand experience. They were definitely a force.

dosman33 42 minutes ago||
Before I worked at TSS doing in-home PC repair, I did a short stint at Radio Shack and got the Compaq experience you described. I remember going to the introduction event for the Compaq roll-out into Radio Shack stores, I was sitting in a large hotel ballroom with like 100 other Radio Shack sales folks. The Compaq guy was asking questions from the audience and I was literally the only person there who could answer questions like "what motherboard interface did the Pentium 2 use" (it was the first cpu to use a slot (Slot 1) versus a socket which was a big deal back then). I had dropped into the event straight after class at ITT, so I was just wearing casual attire and didn't think anything of it. Apparently that was a mistake, one of the higher up sales guys got offended and complained to my manager. I was offended that apparently no one else there knew anything technical at all, lol. Thankfully I left that job not long after.

I was spending all my time learning computers, and I was starting to build systems for family and friends. Once I was lent out to another Radio Shack store that was short handed and the other salesmen kinda lamented not being able to afford the Compaq a customer was buying. Afterwords, I tried to explain to him that I could easily build him a nicer system for a fraction of what we sold Compaq's for. He was still not interested, I think he was way more broke than I realized. I grew up broke too, but I also had my eyes set on improving my situation. Was kind of a wake-up-moment that most people around me had minimal ambition about this.

I also remember having to push cell phones at RS then too, I think we pushed a lot of Sprint phones. I was still fairly young and was just learning about phreaking, but I remember my boss telling people Sprint phones couldn't be cloned like analog cell phones could back then (I disagreed, but I had to agree it was harder at least). It was apparently a thing that your analog cell phone could be cloned over the air and suddenly your bill would be crazy that month. I only ever heard rumors about that kind of thing happening.

saghm 21 minutes ago||
> I thhink he was way more broke than I realized. I grew up broke too, but I also had my eyes set on improving my situation. Was kind of a wake-up-moment that most people around me had minimal ambition about this.

I feel like I'm missing something, because it's not clear at all why that would be your takeaway. Why would "not trusting a temporary employee that I don't usually work with to allocate my home computer budget" somehow imply "broke and unwilling to do anything about it"? Without more detail, that seems like a kinda weird inference to make.

bluedino 1 hour ago||
I worked at Best Buy and when the Gateway country store opened up they came in and offered most of our sales floor employees big raises and benefits.

Sadly I don't think the store stayed open much more than a year.

cm2012 8 minutes ago||
As someone who is a student of advertising, I love this post. Just subscribed to this
gammarator 3 hours ago||
As a young Midwestern nerd in the 90s, getting one of those cow boxes delivered to our home was better than Christmas. (Christmas happens every year!). Somehow I can still remember the new computer smell…
VCFundedGenYer 2 hours ago||
What exactly was "bad" about these ads? They're eye catching, and it definitely interested me as a reader.

Poor choice of title.

cm2012 7 minutes ago||
As an advertiser these are unusual but the clear strategy their marketing team took was to make their ads entertaining enough for people to want to read them.
jimt1234 1 hour ago||
Agreed. I remember those ads, and I kinda liked them. They had personality. The other PC ads were just tech specs - boring.
geophile 2 hours ago||
I loved their ads.

Every month, when I got my BYTE magazine in the mail, the first thing I would do was to find the Gateway 2000 ad, admire the cheezy graphics and copy, and then devour every detail of the specs of their high-end machine, tracking the increase in power and decrease in price. I bought several of their machines over the years.

jonhohle 46 minutes ago||
Gateway 2000 (and subsequently Gateway) was one of my favorite of brands. It was like the Bikes Direct of PC brands - the components you care about on a frame that you don’t.
rl3 1 hour ago|
Not sure how bad the ads are if we're talking about them 30 years later.

Then again, it's not like they're 3dfx-level good:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35027437

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