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Posted by Tomte 1 hour ago

Bob and Van(marco.org)
21 points | 34 comments
iamnothere 1 minute ago|
I think the key differentiator today is the silent mental health crisis that’s gripped this country. Until you know them well, it’s hard to know if your neighbor is secretly part of a weird Discord server where obsessive people lord over random strangers for internet clout. You really don’t want to inadvertently become the day’s “main character” somehow by giving the wrong “vibes” or being unaware of the latest taboo.

It used to be easier to tell when someone was a nutjob based on their appearance, but these days not so much.

anon7725 12 minutes ago||
Bob and Van didn't make you aware of their political views within a few minutes of meeting them. They didn't put a sign in their front yard or a bumper sticker on their vehicle. They weren't wearing any particular apparel. You didn't notice them in the town's Facebook group making their opinions crystal clear. It's much different in a world where people make their political views their whole identity.
AprilArcus 39 minutes ago||
This sounds nice, but what if your neighbor's political views are an existential threat to you personally? What if they don't want you to live in their neighborhood because of the color of your skin, or if they don't think you're a fit parent because you let your kid wear certain clothes? There are some things about which we can have friendly disagreements, like Laffer curves, school vouchers, the death penalty, environmental regulations, or whatever. But there are other disagreements which mean we cannot be friends.
chmod775 8 minutes ago||
What if you were friendly with your neighbor, but on the way to return a shovel you get hit by a bus?

Point being: you're dreaming up edge cases, presumably as a justification for... what? Refusing to engage with people that don't wear their political views as a badge on their chest?

If your stance honestly is "we cannot be friends unless I know your political views", then a wise persons' would keep those to themselves and dodge that bullet with no effort.

jonhohle 25 minutes ago|||
Then you live next to them and let them borrow a cup of sugar or ask to borrow one from them and collect their mail while they’re away and thank them when they let you know you left a light on when you left for work the other day. And realize that your hangups, quirks, and beliefs are just as offensive to them as theirs are to yours but that doesn’t mean either one of you is. Or a good neighbor that can’t crack a beer and just live next door to one another.
hackyhacky 6 minutes ago||
> Then you live next to them and let them borrow a cup of sugar or ask to borrow one from them and collect their mail while they’re away and thank them when they let you know you left a light on when you left for work the other day.

You would have liked my grandmother, who shared your opinion that kindness between neighbors can heal political rifts.

Unfortunately it didn't work out so well for her, as despite her kindness, the neighbors sent her to Dachau anyway.

TimTheTinker 18 minutes ago|||
> what if your neighbor's political views are an existential threat to you personally?

Then you are uniquely placed to show them you're not the baddie they thought you were. Say hello, introduce yourself, smile and wave, bring cookies or stuff from your backyard garden once in a while, be personable.

steele 7 minutes ago|||
Firearms lobby, institutionalized prejudice in law enforcement, Justice system, etc all have made this additional labor of the marginalized minority extraordinarily dangerous.
hackyhacky 9 minutes ago|||
> Then you are uniquely placed to show them you're not the baddie they thought you were.

Great idea! If only we had thought of this sooner. We could have avoided Jim Crow and segregation if only black people had thought to be friendly to racist whites!

/s

user982 2 minutes ago||
Remember: the onus is always on you to prove that you're one of the "good ones" by coddling them.
logicallee 1 minute ago|||
>This sounds nice, but what if your neighbor's political views are an existential threat to you personally?

Or what if they are a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

user982 24 minutes ago||
The essay makes a token gesture toward this ("privilege and power dynamics play a complex and unavoidable role"), but ultimately Marco, who is a rich straight white male unaffected by any meaningful or existential prejudice, is willing to overlook those views (which do not impact him) as things that do not matter.
duck 1 hour ago||
It is still like this in most neighborhoods in the US, but it does require being outside and actually talking to them... which does seem rarer today.
spenczar5 1 hour ago||
This is still the case today, if you let it be. I am friends with many neighbors with differing views from my own and literally do have them over for dinner, invite them to my toddlers' birthday parties, etc.

I don't recognize the things the author describes here - awareness of hot takes, opinions about coffee shop owners... they strike me as features of the online world, but not the offline one I inhabit.

spiderfarmer 1 hour ago||
This is such a uniquely US thing.

Maybe the healthier past wasn’t one where nobody talked about politics. Maybe it was one where disagreeing about politics didn’t automatically make someone your enemy.

As someone from the Netherlands, I find this especially strange. You can call the leader of the party your neighbour voted for every name under the sun, preferably involving some kind of disease, because that’s our style, and still have a beer together afterwards.

PaulDavisThe1st 12 minutes ago|
In all likelihood, that leader of the party your neighbor voted for does not hold views that you consider an existential threat to yourself, or those you love. I say this because you live in (or are from) NL, and while there is certainly a range of political views there, compared to the US you may as well all be in the same party.

Try having a beer with someone who things your daughter in law should have her drivers license revoked because she "lied about being a woman", in a society where a drivers license is a critical part of life.

swazzy 55 minutes ago||
Too bad Marco quit Twitter, I enjoyed following him.
tancop 53 minutes ago||
I'm a pretty left wing person. Most of my friends are a lot more conservative. We can talk anything including politics and disagree without breaking apart our relationship. Last night out it was abortion and Lindsay Clancy, before that colonialism, race/IQ and labor rights. I guess it helps that we all think the people in power right now are corrupt.

If your friendships can't handle a debate that's a skill issue.

jonhohle 23 minutes ago|
In my experience it’s not the conservatives who end relationships over disagreements. In fact, I’ve never heard of a conservative kid disowning their parents, family, or friends because of their liberal views.
hackyhacky 13 minutes ago||
Never heard of a "Christian" parent kicking out their gay son?

Never heard a "conservative" call a protester a "libtard" right before rolling coal at them?

Never heard of a friendly Southern town doing anything they can to keep out people of the wrong skin color, or to encourage them to leave?

Oh.

Maybe you should read some history and not rely on your personal anecdata.

jonhohle 6 minutes ago||
Nope. I haven’t seen any of those things personally. Have you?

I have personally seen family members disown their parents. Siblings not speak for decades. A friend call another racist and cut off communication not for any racist behavior, but because the friend (who has a multiracial family) didn’t support the same cause.

And likewise, maybe you should experience the real world instead of believing sensationalized things you read.

hackyhacky 1 minute ago||
> Nope. I haven’t seen any of those things personally

I didn't ask if you saw those things personally.

> And likewise, maybe you should experience the real world instead of believing sensationalized things you read.

Do you think the Jim Crow era was "sensationalized"?

Do you think that your own personal experience is more representative than documented historical fact?

cja 1 hour ago||
Thought this would be a cool story about Dylan and Morrison :(
user982 1 hour ago|
From the timing, this seems to be a vaguepost in support of Omarchy and DHH.
object-a 54 minutes ago|
Which would be a strange defense. DHH is not someone who keeps his political views to himself.
user982 43 minutes ago||
The crux of this post is that even publicly stated political views like DHH's shouldn't matter.

"If I learn today that my neighbors have political views that my “side” considers unacceptable and unforgivable, [...] Should I be condemned for not publicly condemning them myself? [...] I don’t want to associate with any community that would insist on either of those. [...]

"The town coffee shop was just a coffee shop. We weren’t publicly shamed for going there because one of the owners was an ass."

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