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Posted by scapbi 1 day ago

Ask HN: My mother was scammed out of all her savings. What should I do?

Today is the worst day of my life. We live in a country near Cambodia, and as you know, it is kind of a dream land for scammers. Today, it happened to my family.

My mother received a call from a scammer. They told her she needed to process some tax issue and prove that her bank account had enough money. In just a few minutes, they tricked her and manipulated her into entering banking OTP codes. All of her savings are now gone.

What makes this more dramatic is that last year I architected and helped a government department in my country build a big system. This system can track money flows across the whole country, to know where money comes from. I was very proud of this. It is the biggest achievement of my life. Even if nobody knows I built it, that was fine.

But now I cannot protect my own mother. I cannot protect my family. My system can track the money, but it is almost impossible to get it back.

When I went to the police, just in one small area, there were more than 20 cases in a single day. A hardworking student sent all their family's money, thinking it was for university fees or going abroad. An old factory worker lost all her retirement savings. So many people lost everything. That is when I realized that the system I built, the system I was proud of, is not enough.

All my own savings are gone too. (My mother was scammed into borrowing a lot of money and sending it to the scammers, and now it is my responsibility.) I had plans for the next few years: to do open source work, to write books about math and programming, to create a dream Go web framework, to give back to the community. Now all of that is gone.

But this is not only about me. I can still start over. I am strong enough to rebuild my life. But who will protect people like my mother? Or a poor student? Or a factory worker? Or so many others?

I can build systems. I can build distributed systems that scale to a whole country. But for what? What should I do?

I have been reading Hacker News for 12 to 13 years, sometimes posting from other accounts. I am writing here now to ask for advice and help from this community.

If anyone has experience with similar cases, or ideas on what can realistically be done, or even advice on how to move forward after something like this, I would really appreciate it. I will keep this account semi-private, because with the details above, I think some engineers from my country may recognize me.

118 points | 55 comments
N_Lens 1 day ago|
I think this problem should be solved politically/legally first, technology can easily track money as you know.

How are scammers able to operate bank accounts without leaving any traces, and why don’t the police and banks have the power to reverse transactions that are obviously fraudulent.

tracker1 1 day ago||
Sometimes, I think some aspects of "the old west" in the US might be worth considering a return to... such as "outlaw" and "dead or alive"

I realize that in society we don't typically care for these kinds of approaches, but how else do you actually deal with literal evil that sits safely on the other side of the globe, when their own governments won't do anything to stop it?

The problem is, in reality any such activity would largely be indistinguishable from terrorism.

bluecheese452 7 hours ago||
Ah yes the old west. A time of peace and low crime.
tracker1 3 hours ago||
You mean like today?
idontwantthis 1 hour ago||
When’s the last time your horse got rustled?
anxman 1 day ago|||
It's actually more complicated, but the draining of scam money at scale (ie: billions) is done with the help of collaboration of the Triads and Mexican cartels. IE: Chinese scammers rob the world of billions. They ultimately end up with tons of crypto but still need to launder it. They collaborate with the Mexican cartels to buy USD cash from them paid via crypto. Then the Triads re-launder that cash or sell it to other Chinese nationals in the USA.
razakel 1 day ago|||
The problem is corruption, and that's not easy to fix.
scapbi 1 day ago||
I know about corruption; anyone who lives in a third-world country understands it. However, as an engineer who built the technical solution, I feel hopeless. Even though my team has strong technical skills and worked extremely hard, with very little sleep for six months, to create something for the greater good, situations like this still happen. In fact, they are becoming worse and more frequent.

As an engineer, I hope that I can gain more knowledge, connect with more people, and do more to help those who have no one to protect them.

anxman 1 day ago||
Crypto
scapbi 15 hours ago||
Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. It really means a lot to me right now. I hope someday I can get over this and turn it into a lesson, and I will share what I learned so others can be more careful.

To @dang and the moderators: I honestly do not understand why this topic was flagged. This situation is real and very painful for my family, and it is beyond my imagination that sharing it would be a problem.

tomhow 14 hours ago|
We've turned off the flags.

Sorry for any distress over this. The moderators didn't flag (or see) it. Users flagged it, and whilst we never know why users flag things, in this case it may have been because it seemed outside of HN's usual scope. But as moderators we think it's fine if the community is able to discuss a topic like this and provide meaningful advice and help. We're really sorry this happened to your family, and we wish you well in finding a way forward.

scapbi 14 hours ago||
Thank you, @tomhow. The quick response and the welcoming attitude from the moderators are something I personally appreciate a lot.

As I mentioned before, HN is a technology community. I hope that one day I can share only technical topics here, so we can focus the discussion on technical matters. I hope we can stand together as engineers, doing our part and taking responsibility, even if that does not fully address the root causes.

Mikhail_Edoshin 1 day ago||
It's a growing threat everywhere. Here in Russia it's nearly always in the news. They can even trick a person into selling expensive property (real estate) and then steal the money.

One thing is the government must act. These calls are mostly done from abroad. Phone companies can implement some protective measures. Banks too need to watch for common patterns (doesn't always help because scammers talk the victim around the checks). The society as a whole needs to get aware. What a single person could do is to keep contact with the relatives. I've read an expert report on one such case; the author wrote that even a single close someone could break the trance and stop the scam. In that case the victim happened to be a popular singer seemingly never alone, yet as it turned out she actually was a lone old lady with not a single confidant close enough for more than a month.

She was, of course, shattered with what happened (she lost close to $3M), but after some time in one if her interviews she said: "I will survive". She said it in Russian and did not comment on the phrase further, it must be too personal. Yet of course she meant that song. The song helps her. The song's story is different, but the emotion is same. We have all our love to give. A hard hit will do good if it makes us to commit on that.

romanhn 3 hours ago||
Then the singer went on to use her influence and celebrity lawyers to keep the apartment and not return the buyer's money, screwing the buyer in the process. Literally her defenses were "the buyer should've known this deal was suspect due to below the market price" and that the buyer should have asked for a health report from a psychiatrist (wtf). Not a nice old lady after all. I haven't been following the case closely, but it seems like the decision has been overturned.

Similar to Streisand Effect, there's now in Russia the term Dolina Effect [0] after this singer, referring to these "grandma schemes" where criminals direct the elderly to sell their property and then renege, relying on courts siding with them to keep the property and the money. Whatever the real story is, it's all so messed up.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolina_effect

Mikhail_Edoshin 42 minutes ago||
That "use of influence" is pure imagination. But you are right, there is another even darker half of the story: not only she has lost a large sum of money, she is now hated and bullied by a raging mob of "honest buyers".

(Most such sales happen at a large discount; half price is not uncommon. In many cases the buyer can clearly see something is off. Yet the price is so sweet the buyer cannot resist and risks getting sued afterwards. Of course, maybe this particular case is an exception.)

silisili 1 day ago|||
One thing both Robinhood and Revolut offer, which I wish was mandatory, is that they detect when on a phone call and their banking apps put a banner on the top warning they are not calling the user and to not give out any information.

A small gesture, but anything that can help I'm all for.

scapbi 1 day ago|||
My main background is in mathematics, and after 15 years working in big data, I am now focusing on machine learning and AI. Not flashy technologies, but practical ones that can do things beyond what a normal human can do alone.

As for the human side, I have already shared my story within a closed community where other engineers know me personally. I am not begging for help; my goal is to inform more people about this situation and, if I am fortunate, to find others who are willing to join me in this fight.

scapbi 1 day ago|||
Your last story is deeply moving. It captures the human cost behind these crimes in a way that statistics never can. Her quiet strength, expressed in just a few words, is a powerful reminder that even after devastating loss, people can find the will to endure and move forward.
TiredOfLife 20 hours ago||
> Here in Russia it's nearly always in the news

And that is bad because...?

Bridged7756 3 hours ago||
The guy is one of Putin's top generals, also known as "Bloodhound" (in Russian), anyways, he sounds pretty bloodthirsty too, just from the way he writes. You have to pay for your crimes you monster! You and all your people deserve to die! Every Russian. It's just so monstrous how they decide to just invade another country because they can right? What gives them the right? All their people should pay for it, with blood.
mandown2308 1 day ago||
I don't have any solution for you, but I'm really sorry for this happened to you. It makes me really sad. I hope you get justice legally.
scapbi 1 day ago|
Thanks for your kind words.
scapbi 13 hours ago||
After sharing my story, I realized how widespread this has become. Almost every friend I know has at least one relative who has been a victim. These are not one or two isolated cases. It is almost everyone. This is no longer an exception. It is becoming normal, and that is terrifying.

One urgent warning I want to share is about how scammers are now using AI.

In my country, they are already using AI for video calls, voice cloning, and highly scripted conversations. The person on the screen can look and sound real. The conversation feels natural and authoritative. For many people, especially older relatives, it is almost impossible to tell that it is fake.

This is no longer about obvious scam messages or bad phone calls. AI is making scams feel personal and trustworthy. Please warn your families. No bank or authority will ever ask for OTP codes or urgent transfers, even if it is a video call and the person looks real.

jackiscott 13 hours ago|
[dead]
wtmt 1 day ago||
Sorry to hear this. From where I am (India), there’s hardly anything that you can do because it’s likely that the ones with power won’t do anything. As an individual, you can only focus on yourself and those you know and try to educate them as much as is possible.

These kind of scams have become a huge problem in India (look up “digital arrest” scams). People of all backgrounds and age groups have lost a lot of money (to put it in US dollar equivalent amounts, imagine a person losing few hundred thousand dollars to a couple of million dollars). There is nothing like “digital arrest” in Indian laws. The government has tried to warn people about this.

The larger problem seems to be a combination of factors across disinterested entities:

1. The police aren’t interested in solving these (there’s a separate division for cybercrime). Filing a formal report is usually thwarted and avoided by the police. Even if they show some interest, it always involves paying them fat sums of money. There’s no guarantee that they can recover the money.

2. The banks aren’t interested in solving this. It seems like specific bank branch managers are involved and just stand by allowing large transactions (like cash withdrawals) to just be approved without raising any questions or concerns. All the talk by banks about “risk management” (alongside compliance matters) goes out the window just for the victims of these scams.

3. With SMS OTPs being common and the scammers recruiting some locals to run SIM farms/phone farms, the telecom companies aren’t interested in solving issues within themselves either. Though there is a limit of nine phone numbers (total) per person in India, and though there is on paper a KYC process (including a live video) to get a phone number, the telecom companies have systems and employees who can provide numerous numbers based on stolen or fake IDs.

4. The government is a bystander and appears helpless. Instead of creating laws and enforcing existing laws, it focuses on some awareness that these scams are not genuine.

5. The Supreme Court finally ordered CBI (the Indian equivalent of FBI) to investigate these scams.

So there you have it: none of the entities involved has any interest or will to do something about the problem. There will always be excuses that the scammers are in another country.

vivzkestrel 13 hours ago|
https://cybercrime.gov.in/ report cybercrimes here i shared more insight on a different comment on this post
tracker1 1 day ago||
I'm so sorry to hear this. The best thing you can do is help to educate people, maybe create an organization that can work with other organizations to target youth and senior knowledge. Before they passed both my grandmothers had seen many similar scam efforts that targeted them. One of my grandmothers was way too knowledgeable and crafty to fall for it, even pleas like, "Grandma, I'm in jail and need help..." absolutely failed in practice. For better or worse, my other Grandmother had been scammed a couple times and towards the end of her life didn't have the finances to scam any more from, living with my mom and her sisters.

Unfortunately the scams themselves range from amazingly complex to what should be really easy to spot. I make it a rule to NEVER give personal information to someone that calls me unexpectedly, at least nothing that isn't already effectively public information. Annoying when your doctor's office has an automated system that calls and the first thing it does is ask for your social security number... My response is "nope, not doing it" and that's what I told anyone that would listen at that office every visit... it's training people to get scammed.

raw_anon_1111 13 hours ago||
This seems like such a simple problem to solve on the institutional level. Allow a person to have 3FA. Two phone numbers being required to log in - yours and trusted person.

I would have that setup for my parents so that if they ever called me for the 2nd code, I could ask questions about why they need it.

While I’m not too worried about my 83 year old mom, she is more tech savvy than most and has been using computers since 1986, I do worry about my dad if my mom passes first. He’s a lot more gullible.

hulitu 11 hours ago|
> Allow a person to have 3FA.

This might not be sufficient. We need 4FA or, better, 5FA.

lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 2 hours ago||
You could reduce it to a single hardware security key without a password and it would be more secure. The problem—in this case and in general—is using passwords and OTPs for anti-phishing; with a hardware key, there is no way for the phishers to gain access to the account (without being in the room or in possession of the key), even if they successfully convince their victim to log in.

No affiliation other than using their products:

https://www.yubico.com/

raw_anon_1111 2 hours ago||
There are scams where they tell the user to do stuff themselves even as far as to tell the victim to take all of the money out and deposit it in a bitcoin account
cosmosauras 1 day ago||
I’m so sorry this happened to your family. Let’s use this as a moment to protect our own.

Think of it this way: If I needed a document from your house, would you give me a permanent copy of your keys? Probably not. Unlike a physical key, a shared password can never truly be taken back.

No legitimate organization needs full, permanent control over your bank account. If a situation feels incredibly urgent, it is almost certainly a scam.

• Taxes? The government already has the access they need. • Loans or Visas? Ask for payment instructions or a formal bank certification instead.

Everything can wait a day—except a scammer. Educate your circle: urgency is their greatest weapon.

linhns 1 day ago|
To the OP, be proud that you’re brave enough to share this. I live in one of the 3 countries bordering Cambodia, and yes I have been called by scammers and managed to ignore them every single time. A political solution is a must if the world even intends to solve this growing pain, with the end of Cambodia as a country a good solution. Until then, be vigilant and advise others to be as well, and keep pillaging Cambodia whenever an opportunity arises. I always refer to them as Scambodia in daily conversations, gaining popularity myself for that.
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