Posted by haritha-j 10 hours ago
I often think that as I end up confirming a grumpy/aggressive person's expectation I'll be a bad customer, or confirming a kind/present persons's expectation I'll be a good one
I guess the generalized version is "it's easier to get what you want through compromise and avoiding conflict." Or just, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
Now, unreasonable and malicious people will transgress the moral, so the question is then: if I must deal with this person, how do I do so as fruitfully as possible?
What egotistical people don't realize is that their vanity is not a strength, but their weakest asset. Humility is a kind of invulnerability, so to speak, because all humility is is a disposition to recognize the truth and to conform to it. Egotistical leaders are highly motivated by a need for validation, for reputation, and for "glory". So, if your boss is egotistical, you should manage it and leverage that ego for the intended aim. Don't take things personally. Focus on the rational goal you are all aiming at. Plant seeds in conversations so that the leader can permit himself to think your ideas are actually his. Surrender the spotlight to him. Let him bask in the blinding limelight. Attention is a prison; if he wants it so badly, let him have it. Magnanimous men are above such things.
Never resort to trickery. This will burn you in the end, especially when the truth comes out. Never flatter or resort to adulation or sycophancy - it is smarmy, demeaning, and undignified; you see plenty of this in Trump's circle - but recognize actual strengths of the leader.
Maintain composure (do not react with fear or eagerness to please), distance, and politeness. Be patient: this allows the egotistical leader's passions to cool down, creating more space for the rational. Frame acknowledgement and concession to someone else's good ideas and advice not as a loss - which is how egotists see things - but as a magnanimous act on his part. Magnanimity is foreign to the egotist, but his love of reputation and a desire to be seen as magnanimous suffices for practical purposes.
I started renting a desk in a co-working space starting this year and there's a new guy here who conducts his meetings in the room instead of going to the conference booth and uses a pretty loud mechanical keyboard.
Half a year ago, when I was still working from home and not going out much, I would lose my shit. It's not that it's not annoying, I'm just a little bit desensitized to it.