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Posted by CliffStoll 2 days ago

Rumors of my death are slightly exaggerated

AI hallucinations are getting ambitious.

A couple people recently emailed, asking whether the Klein bottle business was still operating after my death.

“Huh?” I thought. “I ain’t dead yet.”

After some digging, I discovered the source: an AI-generated review of The Cuckoo’s Egg circulating on Facebook. Alongside the usual synthetic praise and fabricated details, it confidently announced that I had died in May 2024.

Apparently AI has now advanced to the point where it can kill people off before they notice.

Mark Twain once wrote, “Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” I never expected to field-test the quote personally.

source: https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=989939243570691&id=100076638743004

Cheers, -Cliff

1596 points | 246 comments
SneakyMission 22 hours ago|
Dear Cliff,

I'm terribly sorry to hear of your passing, but am pleased that you have since gotten better.

Cheers!

CliffStoll 18 hours ago||
Back from the dead, eh? Turns out it wasn't that bad of a passage...
ClikeX 16 hours ago|||
This is about as Monthy Pythonesque as it's going to get in here.
SoftTalker 17 hours ago|||
I never even knew that he was sick!
efitz 14 hours ago|||
Neither did he!
ghastmaster 11 hours ago|||
> I never even knew that he was sick!

The more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

fhn 18 hours ago|||
Dear Zombie Cliff, thanks for not eating me for my cranium is devoid of matter.
Spoom 12 hours ago||
Heya Tom, it's Bob, from the office down the hall
arto 16 hours ago||
The quintessential convalescent condolence, according to LLMs.
invalidSyntax 12 hours ago||
LLMs said quintessential what?
jmuguy 1 day ago||
Hmm, I don't believe you. In order to prove you're alive please make an updated Youtube video with a tour of your crawlspace warehouse.
xattt 23 hours ago||
.. while taking a drink from a Klein bottle and holding three fingers in front of your face at the same time.
nnevatie 23 hours ago|||
... and exactly three fingers, and not six, for example.
harimau777 23 hours ago|||
I feel bad for people who have a mutation that caused them to grow an extra finger. Now every picture of them people are going to say its AI.
triceratops 22 hours ago|||
Commit crimes wearing an extra prosthetic finger. You can dispute any video footage as AI generated.
annoyingnoob 19 hours ago||
I add an extra elbow too, just to be sure.
LocalH 19 hours ago||
I just add a third leg that connects to my left leg about halfway between my knee and foot.
abejfehr 23 hours ago|||
Reminds me of this short film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEVl0NS0vu8
saltyoldman 20 hours ago||||
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szqXppELItw
nkoren 19 hours ago|||
...while correctly spelling "strawberry"...
zakfis 18 hours ago|||
You’re planely projecting something.
xattt 16 hours ago||
It was a joke. It went over your head. And under. And around. Sorry, I have boundary issues.
ricardonunez 14 hours ago||
Op got woosh
MarekKnapek 12 hours ago|||
Yes! I need a glass Klein bottle video!
GTP 20 hours ago|||
Need to see a recent newspaper as well.
Normal_gaussian 23 hours ago||
Yes; this is the way
hananova 20 hours ago||
Hi Cliff! Your book the Cuckoo's Egg got me both (more) into IT, as well as helped my English proficiency go from basic to proficient. Back when I was 12, I was checked out in school, and my English teacher noticed here in Belgium.

He knew I was a bit of a nerd and into computers, and he recommended me your book, and in fact personally went to an English book store to buy it for me. And the rest is history.

CliffStoll 18 hours ago|
Thanks Nova Hana! I'm tickled that my writing helped with your English ... I sure didn't intend to help anyone figure out the weirdness of this language. As I remember, I was trying to use the language of computer jocks & hackers simply because that's the easy way to get my ideas across. Best wishes, -Cliff
davely 20 hours ago||
Dear Cliff,

I'm sorry to hear that you must have died right after we visited you in May of 2024 [1]. But I'm glad that you've figured things out and that you are now alive again! I imagine that's a much better state of affairs for you.

Here's to many more years of adventures and quilt making.

Cheers!

[1] https://daveschumaker.net/adventures-in-topology-the-cuckoos...

CliffStoll 18 hours ago|
Writing from this side of death seems to be fairly easy, Dave.

Smiles, -Cliff (who just started designing a new quilt) PS - I quite remember your visit with your daughter a year or so ago)

hoppyhoppy2 22 hours ago||
Thank you for the update, Cliff. I will update your Wikipedia page to show that your death is currently under dispute.
CliffStoll 18 hours ago||
I've gone out of my way to not read my wikipedia page. Beyond this, there's a rule (suggestion??) that you not edit your own biographical page.

As a result, I have no idea whether things are right, wrong, misguided, or kflooey on that page. Anyone who wants to know details can simply stop over here for coffee and a chat.

Cheers, -Cliff

croemer 18 hours ago||
You can suggest changes on the talk page.

> Wikipedia provides a structured process for subjects to suggest changes without directly editing articles. The mechanism centers on the article's "talk page", a discussion area attached to every Wikipedia entry where editors coordinate improvements.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Editing_a_page_about...

CliffStoll 15 hours ago||
Aah - thank you. Maybe I'll check it out. When I have free time. Uh right... Cheers, -Cliff
sokoloff 22 hours ago|||
Classic Wikipedia. “I spoke with Cliff today; now I have to go discuss on the Talk page whether or not he’s dead.”
Rebelgecko 21 hours ago|||
No original research please
pngwen 18 hours ago|||
Ah, but we could cite Cliff's Facebook page as evidence that he is disputing the reports of his own death. That's at least strong enough to put his earthly existence in the "debatable" column.
shakna 11 hours ago||
Facebook is an unreliable source, and should not be cited.
amiga386 10 hours ago||
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WP:SELFSOURCE

> Self-published or questionable sources may be used as sources of information about themselves

Clifford Stoll's own Facebook page saying he's not dead can be cited on Wikipedia, even if Facebook itself (or Clifford's non-expert opinions) are unreliable

tptacek 18 hours ago|||
You laugh, but it's a real problem. In this case: a WP claim that Stoll was dead would quickly fall to the lack of reliable sources indicating his death; naturally, there's a WP policy for this.
throwup238 21 hours ago||||
They’re now arguing about whether the talk page counts as a secondary source.
KingFelix 19 hours ago||||
Sounds a bit like a Philip K Dick story
ignoramous 21 hours ago|||
For living persons, Wikipedia takes misleading / contentious material quite seriously: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Biographies_of_livin...

That said, Wikipedia is pretty unapologetic about its preference for verifiability, not truth: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Verifiability,_not_t...

zeusdclxvi 20 hours ago|||
No reliable secondary sources that you are still alive I'm afraid
leoc 19 hours ago||
To be fair, there actually is an exception specifically for just this kind of thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:BLPSELF... .
ClikeX 16 hours ago|||
They did add nuance to that quote a long time ago. It's a good stance, it's fine if someone knows something to be true. But other visitors of Wikipedia don't know that, so anything that's added without a source is questionable.
gjm11 15 hours ago|||
In case anyone is taking this subthread too seriously: C.S.'s Wikipedia page does not in fact claim that he is dead, and its most recent update was in December 2025. Whatever rumours of his death may be circulating, they do not appear to have infected Wikipedia.
ChrisMarshallNY 1 day ago||
Glad to know you’re still kicking around, but, to be honest, I had no idea that you were supposed to be an ex-Stoll.

Back in the Wage Slave days, a story would go around, about a way to play a dirty trick on a coworker: One day, when they are out, write “DECEASED” on all the mail in their inbox, and drop it in their outbox. It would take months for them to repair the damage.

But it could be worse. This was posted here, yesterday: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48037923

sevenzero 1 day ago||
>Back in the Wage Slave days

Excuse me, but when did we leave those days?

ChrisMarshallNY 1 day ago|||
Sorry. Just speaking for myself (retired).
sevenzero 1 day ago||
Ah nice, happy you got there! Thanks for clarifying
zeafoamrun 23 hours ago||
sevenzero got excited about the possibility that wage slave days had ended for everyone and he had just missed the memo.
locao 20 hours ago|||
He didn't receive the memo because someone wrote DECEASED on his mail months ago.
sevenzero 22 hours ago|||
A man can have dreams :(
cestith 22 hours ago||
It’s a good dream.
comrade1234 1 day ago||
Fiddler-diddler. I understand the mixup.
donkey_brains 16 hours ago||
Wrong thread bud
firefoxd 22 hours ago||
Oh we already mailed the letter:

"Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. And Mrs. Stoll

Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded or reported missing in action"

CliffStoll 18 hours ago|
Oh my, but you know more than you can guess. About a year ago, my wife passed on. While deep in grief, I began receiving letters from financial institutions and banks that began, "Dear Mr/Ms Stoll, we offer our sincere condolences ..." How can a corporation have "sincere condolences"? They're the last place I'd go for comfort or sincerity.
Prcmaker 16 hours ago|||
I'm truly saddened to hear this Cliff, the way you wrote of her in your book showed such relatable affection.
amenghra 12 hours ago|||
Sad to hear about your wife’s passing. Sending you lots of hugs and love from across the pond.
monegator 1 day ago||
"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact"

- The whole internet, AD 2026

CliffStoll 17 hours ago|
Once upon a time, MoneGator, things posted to the internet were assumed to be true unless proven otherwise. Oh, how things have inverted!
thaumaturgy 17 hours ago||
I'm not anyone you would know, so this probably isn't worth a whole lot, but you're one of my favorite people (in the set of people I'm not personally familiar with).

I really appreciated everything you did for young students in science and your position on the role of computers in schools. You're a brilliant human and a good human. It's a treat to see both in the same package.

CliffStoll 17 hours ago|
Thank you Miraclemaker. By luck and coincidence, I've had a lot of fun fooling with the early networks, astronomy, radio, teaching, and topology.

Now, as I hear that distant bell tolling, it's time to pass the torch: it's your turn to take over and make this world a better place. You can't do much worse than my generation...

Warm wishes, -Cliff

koliber 1 day ago|
A doctor friend of mine once joked that it would be really cruel to issue a death certificate for someone who is alive. This seems to be a soft version of that.

The only thing that would be crueler is to revoke someone's birth certificate. "Sir, you never existed in the first place."

cestith 21 hours ago||
Like Kansas tried to do for all their transgender residents. They didn’t switch ID. They just invalidated all documentation that didn’t match what the state legislators thought they should say. They were going to be forced to try securing new ID at their own expense, with their existing ID not being considered valid to identify them.

https://www.cjonline.com/story/news/politics/government/2026...

Thankfully the courts found this sort of harm unreasonable.

xboxnolifes 20 hours ago||
Yet, oddly fitting for a deadname.
onei 1 day ago|||
It's no joke for some.

It was some time ago that I read about it, and I'm struggling to find a source now, but there are instances in India of people being declared dead to allow their next of kin to steal their land. In doing so, the 'dead' unsurprisingly lose access to various public resources, health care, etc.

Edit: found a reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uttar_Pradesh_Association_of_D...

II2II 22 hours ago|||
It is reasonably safe to say that people find it funny because of the absurdity of the situation, while realizing that it is not funny for the person who has been declared as dead.
alwa 20 hours ago|||
See also:

https://economist.com/interactive/1843/2026/02/27/the-uttar-...

shakna 1 hour ago|||
A friend of mine is adopted. At the time, the worker didn't follow the SOP.

Instead of an entry into the adoption registry, they created a new death certificate, and a backdated new birth certificate. A lot of government systems collapse when it turns out you are two people.

boothby 15 hours ago|||
My ex-spouse worked in IT at a hospital and their user account was inadvertently marked dead. It ended up taking weeks of effort to remedy the problem, as the system wasn't built to handle corpses suddenly arising or perhaps less plausibly, data entry errors. It was one of those "funny until it happens to you" moments as I was still in grad school and payroll doesn't cut checks for dead employees who can't submit timecards...
justinclift 11 hours ago||
> My ex-spouse

Actually, I wonder if that would mean a marriage is (legally) over at that point too? ;)

t0mas88 1 day ago|||
Undeclaring someone dead is one way to fix it, but you could also issue a new birth certificate, SSN etc and have minted an entirely new citizen :-) free of debt and ownership, uneducated and unemployed on paper but somehow quite experienced.
mdnahas 19 hours ago|||
We created databases to keep track of reality. It fascinates me when the database is taken for reality.
zakfis 18 hours ago|||
“Some traitors, who may or may not be in my attention.”
worldsavior 1 day ago||
You define your liveness by some piece of paper?
ElFitz 1 day ago|||
The state does. And once a death certificate have been issued and filed, proving you are in fact still around is whole can of worms of its own.

eg https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/03/they-sa...

Edit: and a few others https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48060857

The Romanian man Guardian article has a great and horrible quote:

> The court told him he was too late, and would have to remain officially deceased.

senkora 22 hours ago||
I read the first link and was curious what the outcome of the case was, since the article was released in 2021. It seems that Jeanne was declared alive again in 2023, which is the most recent public reporting on the case:

https://www.leprogres.fr/faits-divers-justice/2023/02/28/jea...

koliber 1 day ago|||
I don't. But many others do. The only thing that let's banks and other companies know that you are dead is a piece of paper called a Death Certificate.
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