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Posted by ExMachina73 3 hours ago

Don't use your phone while you poop(nate.spot)
166 points | 181 comments
huhtenberg 2 hours ago|
Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.

I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that.

Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

bonsai_spool 2 hours ago||
> Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom.

Wow, I forgot that I used to do this! And I'd puzzle over whether any ozone was left with all the CFCs being emitted.

But yes, the OP is very edgy take that totally ignores the existence of book/magazine baskets next to toilets. It's a huge plot point in Breaking Bad, for example.

https://youtu.be/cXgg607wuis?t=35 (Breaking Bad 'Hank Figures it Out')

Loughla 1 hour ago|||
I'm certain that national geographic only exists in bathrooms. That's the reason we have a subscription. . . And my aunts and uncles and parents and cousins.
nwatson 2 hours ago||||
I've searched out this clip various times, gonna watch it again. Easily one of the best movie / TV moments since the advent of film.
busymom0 1 hour ago|||
On shark tank, this couple had a product which was basically a sand timer for pooping. Some sharks didn't invest in it because they thought pooping was one of the few times people get peace and let them do what they want.
epihelix 2 hours ago|||
Personally, I just took a book in with me. (I thought everyone did, but apparently not.)

Many share houses, when I was a student, put the film calendar for the local art house cinema on the back of the toilet door. It was the accepted place for it.

Reading on the pot is a time-honoured tradition.

duxup 2 hours ago|||
The Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri manual was a personal favorite of mine.
embedding-shape 2 hours ago||
Heh yeah, as a kid/young adult I also stored all my strategy game manuals in the bathroom, back when they used to contain actual information and helpful stuff.
recursivegirth 2 hours ago|||
My grammy had a curated bathroom library. Usually those "1000 Odd Facts" type of books that you could pickup and flip through.
serf 1 hour ago||
Mine too. That and 'adult humor' joke books that were big in the 60s.
Fnoord 2 hours ago|||
I used to take my laptop or Nokia N810 (remote shell over Wi-Fi with physical keyboard) with me to the bathroom. Nowadays there's cyberdecks, e-readers, ...

Just imagine, there was a person on #debian reading and taking a dump.

Just to reiterate: book good, e-reader bad. Phone good, smartphone bad. Scanning through a physical magazine good, doomscrolling TikTok bad.

Except it is about focused vs. diffuse mode of brain, and usually people underappreciate the latter. E.g. walking during a lunch break, thereby getting inspiration for work, is working. The same can be true for taking a shower, sporting, staring outside at the landscape or stars, or meditating. It will also empower your focused mode later on. And, the author's point seems to be a toilet break is a decent opportunity for this. I agree. On my previous job, I regularly sat for 10-15 min in late morning, and it inspired me. But you cannot force people to not take a device with them to toilet. I mean, unless you're working for NSA or something. Don't judge such, look at total performance / efficiency per hour instead. Or per USD spend on the employee.

As a former smoker, this is also what I appreciated about having a fag (in a time before smartphone and vape were common). Some missed the socializing. I hated that part. It seemed to be more like FOMO on gossip, little substance.

nashashmi 37 minutes ago|||
Or those people who took magazines to the bathroom to read.

But they all took a back seat from the one thing that followed them around!

nerevarthelame 2 hours ago|||
My family had dedicated bathroom reading that sat on the top of every toilet cistern. Usually something like a Far Side comic collection or an "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader."
BLKNSLVR 1 hour ago|||
There should have been a specific edition for toilet reading called The Fart Side.
morkalork 1 hour ago|||
My extended family still has some old copies of Reader's Digest compilations hanging around the bathroom.

Edit: those books are basically the print version of reddit's front page of posts from r/interestingasfuck, r/todayilearned, r/MadeMeSmile etc.

ramijames 1 hour ago|||
I don't know about you guys, but I kept a stack of books in the bathroom. I managed to get through a lot of books two or three pages at a time. I don't even know why I stopped.
consumer451 1 hour ago|||
The Dr. Bronner's label rabbit hole was a common occurrence.

That's some crazy info on that soap bottle.

Revisional_Sin 1 hour ago|||
> Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

The article isn't claiming it'll kill you...

vishnugupta 2 hours ago|||
I used to take news papers and magazines and sometimes still do. So yes it’s perfectly fine.
tartoran 2 hours ago|||
That is a real phenomena for a chunk of the population but I'm trying to understand what it is. Is it ADHD?
saghm 2 hours ago|||
It might also have to do with how long someone tends to take. I tend to have a pretty slow metabolism and only need to defecate a couple times a week (to preempt any armchair diagnoses from people who think this is weirdly infrequent, every doctor I've had has always said this isn't a huge deal), so when I do, it tends to be in larger amounts. I've also found that it's better for me to take it slow and not strain as much, so sometimes I end up being on the toilet for more than just a couple minutes, which means that having something to do is nice.

That said, I do also have ADHD, so maybe people who are "longer and slower" toiler-sitters like me without ADHD might be fine without a distraction.

bitmasher9 2 hours ago||
The healthy range of frequency is roughly 3/day-0.3/day.
throwup238 1 hour ago|||
And depending on the person it can also change depending on diet and mixing microbiomes. Back when I lived with roommates my frequency changed based on who I lived with to some extent, matching closer to their frequency without changing diet (since I was weight training my diet was controlled and I didn’t eat their food).

Now living permanently with a spouse it has settled on a higher frequency than I remember before moving out on my own. Weird stuff.

saghm 1 hour ago||
That's wild, my frequency has remained pretty consistent through my life, although I did have a couple years where somehow one of the days each week I'd do it would always be Monday, and I never had any explanation for why that was the case.
justsomehnguy 1 hour ago||
Not really a constipation but if out of nowhere I notice what I didn't #2 in a while what means I have a quite severe cold incoming - but yet without symptoms.

> one of the days each week I'd do it would always be Monday, and I never had any explanation for why that was the case.

Social functions, a specific food or beverages (Friday drinking night? Not to the Monday though...) on some days, travel for some.

saghm 1 hour ago|||
Sounds like I'm still in the range then! Interesting that it varies so much. I've heard some people say (or I guess imply) that they do it daily, and it's so different from my experience that I've always wondered which way is more "normal". I guess both are!
rrgok 1 hour ago||
you are full of shit /s
_zoltan_ 1 hour ago|||
Not everything is ADHD.
kotaKat 13 minutes ago|||
pre-AI I recall a little gag website based on that in ~2013!

https://web.archive.org/web/20210612143916/http://backlabel....

Backlabel threw together a fake product name from a list and added in some warning symbols and various ingredient and instructions to give you some fake labels to read while you whizz away.

mrweasel 2 hours ago|||
We learned Finish from the back of shampoo bottles.
unsupp0rted 2 hours ago|||
Don’t forget the SEARS catalogue
WhyComboNadir 2 hours ago||
Or National Geographic if you got sick of the Sears bra section
didsomeonesay 1 hour ago|||
my family's main study there used to be the TV program which came in - hard to believe now - weekly printed magazines.
xeon06 2 hours ago|||
https://xkcd.com/1227/
freddyfloof 1 hour ago|||
”Ei saa peittää” is forever imprinted in me! One of the first memes I think I came across growing up. I remember both kids and grownups spontaneously just saying it.

For many of us Swedes this was the one of the first and few Finnish sentences we ever learnt (it means ”Do not cover” and was printed on electric panel heaters in the bathroom).

hdgvhicv 2 hours ago|||
Stack of old magazines - readers digest etc
steve1977 1 hour ago|||
I read magazines or books.
andrewshadura 1 hour ago|||
Also in all sorts of languages. Czech, Slovak, Estonian, French, you name it. A gentle introduction into comparative linguistics :D
Noaidi 1 hour ago|||
Oh yeah, I used to get a huge dopamine rush reading what was in my toothpaste.

Instagram feeds and not toothpaste tubes people.

elendilm 1 hour ago|||
That brings back so many good memories that were forgotten.
thenthenthen 2 hours ago|||
I totally still do this! The random nonsense and just lists of ingredients make me relaxed.
retired 2 hours ago|||
The Dutch have a birthday calendar in the toilet room. And you can use the inspection shelf of the toilet to check for problems in your diet. Plenty of activities to do!
otikik 2 hours ago||
I read about ancient greek mithology
Retr0id 2 hours ago||
If pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.
safety1st 2 hours ago||
Right. I actually do the inverse of the OP's advice. As much as possible, pooping is the ONLY time I use the phone.

If the only time you budget for mindfulness is a couple minutes on the toilet, you're doing it wrong.

embedding-shape 2 hours ago||
Same, on the golden throne is where 98% of my phone time is being spent, the other 2% is having to hold up the phone towards my hear to do that annoying "talk to another human being" thing. Otherwise during a normal day I barely touch my phone.
otikik 2 hours ago|||
You underestimate the amount of time I spend pooping.
smitty1e 2 hours ago||
I'm so full that I may have to run for public office.
echelon 2 hours ago||
The reason we have declining birth rates is phones.

It's not the economy. People have overwhelmingly been historically poor. Our ancestors ate rotting and festering meat and they had plenty of kids. Your great great grandparents went through some shit. HN community demographics are the exception to the rule.

The problem is every man and woman is sucked into a phone. They're never bored. There's no need to plan for long term fulfillment in another person. Always just more dopamine. Settling down isn't good because we're trained on short form gratification loops.

The spy devices enforce conformance too. Nobody takes risks and parties. Looking foolish will be shared and shamed. People get sucked into these closed off hyper critical portals where everyone sees a highlight reel, questions themselves, and adapts to the performance culture status quo.

This is worse than either Brave New World or 1984.

It's an almost fitting handoff that our species goes into decline as the robots begin to take over. Our species can't be just scaffolding right? We're kind of doing our best to prove that we are.

KerryJones 2 hours ago|||
Ive read quite a bit, including one of my favorite articles, "It's probably the phones": https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/honestly-its-probably-the-phon...

But then you kind of dove into the deepend there. Spy devices, 1984, etc. I think a more tempered approach is useful here

footydude 1 hour ago||||
> The reason we have declining birth rates is phones

US Live births per 1000 people from Macrotrends:

* 1960 - 22.70

* 1970 - 16.83

* 1980 - 14.99

* 1990 - 15.57

* 2000 - 14.18

* 2010 - 13.31

* 2020 - 11.99

* 2026 - 11.98

In the 30 years 1960 - 1990 which predate widespread adoption of mobile phones, we see a drop of ~7 live births per 1000 people.

In the 35 years since then (during which mobile phones have become ubiquitous) it has dropped by a further 3.5 live births per 1000 which is half the prior reduction.

If we look at US fertility rates the situation is even more dramatic. Births per woman:

* 1960 - 3.44

* 1970 - 2.34

* 1980 - 1.79

* 1990 - 1.96

* 2000 - 2.01

* 2010 - 1.98

* 2020 - 1.78

* 2026 - 1.79

The 30 years from 1960-1990 see a drop of almost 1.5 vs. a drop of about 0.2 in the 35 years since.

All of which is to say that the trend for declining birth rates predates mobile phone adoption, the biggest declines came prior to mobile phones being in widespread use. I've not researched the matter but my understanding is the primary drives in declining birth-rates are A) widespread availability of reliable birth control (the pill) and B)population wealth increases which tend to correlate quite strongly with the number of children a person has.

I don't discount phones having at least some impact, but seems highly unlikely that it's 'the' reason.

live births - https://www.macrotrends.net/global-metrics/countries/usa/uni... fertility rate - https://www.macrotrends.net/global-metrics/countries/usa/uni...

echelon 36 minutes ago||
It's still dopamine. Dopamine + freedom.

It starts with access to tv, movies, leisure travel, and disposable income.

These things take you out of the evolutionary algorithm. Boredom, uncertainty, low dopamine, mind not preoccupied = having children.

We identified this trend already in DINKs, it just turns out biology's adversarial algorithm is far more widespread than just that one demographic pattern.

Smartphones are an accelerant.

NetMageSCW 17 minutes ago||
Then they are a very poor one since they caused a decrease in the rate of decrease.
alansaber 2 hours ago||||
Trained on short form gratification loops? Just the opposite. They're the path of least resistance. It was thermodynamically inevitable that short form content would dominate.
Noaidi 2 hours ago||||
[dead]
Henchman21 2 hours ago||||
Right it has nothing to do with pollution or endocrine-disrupting chemicals in the environment. Yeah its definitely phones.
colechristensen 2 hours ago||
It's really not. Nor is it phones.

Real estate is too expensive and rent is too high and people don't want to raise a family in a tiny apartment where both people have to work long hours. Combined with the fear TV sold to people such that they have to hover over their children 24/7 for most of their lives.

echelon 27 minutes ago||
Real estate has NOTHING to do with this.

Our peers in other countries can live with dirt floors, no climate control or running water, and tarp roofing. And they have no problem having kids. Until they get the smartphone.

People have always had far less and had more children. The wealth you have now is a modern phenomenon and perhaps a bit of a flukish bubble.

Your own dopamine blindfold is a "minimum acceptable happiness threshold". It's distancing you from your underlying biology.

You don't have to live where you do. You don't have to send your kids to an expensive school. You don't have to buy expensive things, the latest fashion, the nicest car. You don't have to go to the expensive trips and festivals and restaurants. You don't have to keep up with the neighbors. You need very few things.

The dopamine loop put you there. Consumption, comparison, craving more. Algorithmically targeted.

hnhg 2 hours ago|||
Your great great grandparents didn't effectively get fined for having each child. It was quite the opposite.

You make some really good points, but I feel they are a result of a greed-pilled, mean-spirited and individualistic-to-the-point-of-self-harm culture we're all sadly living under rather than the underlying cause.

dpark 1 hour ago||
> Your great great grandparents didn't effectively get fined for having each child. It was quite the opposite.

What are you talking about?

AngryData 1 hour ago||
I would assume that they mean your great great grandparents benefited greatly by having kids because it brought in more labor while it mostly just cost food. These days there are tons of extra costs to having kids that didn't exist in the past and none of those costs are offset by their labors.
brtkwr 3 hours ago||
Who read this while in the act?
vdfs 39 minutes ago||
I went directly to the comments like a true phone addict
haraldooo 2 hours ago|||
Most upvoted comment in a long time. Probably.
isoprophlex 2 hours ago|||
Does taking a piss count?
tartoran 2 hours ago||
Only if you're sitting down and lingering for 10 minutes...
tt_dev 2 hours ago||
you called me out
01100011 2 hours ago||
Pooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it.

I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.

dpark 1 hour ago||
We address the vulnerability by retreating to a private space. The phones come out just to address boredom. Sitting on the toilet is boring.

> I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the toilet.

Right. People spending 30 minutes sitting on the toilet are clearly not feeling all that vulnerable. But, yeah. Don’t do that.

minifridge 1 hour ago|||
You are not alone! Starting with Freud and the anal stage, many psychologists have concerned themselves and linking this not with sexual but with mortal aspect of the human condition
brtkwr 2 hours ago|||
Yes, the only other closest parallel is maybe giving birth without reducing the intensity of an experience of child birth…
conmod278 2 hours ago|||
> pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans

GRRM chose that vulnerable moment to kill off a character.

goobatrooba 1 hour ago|||
And yet the toilet is one of the most connected places in the house. I love this BBC "Thinking Allowed" podcast episode on toilets that makes the point powerfully:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03vgf4m

retired 2 hours ago||
I remember Nintendo doing a commercial about that!
alsetmusic 1 hour ago||
Ages ago, I let my partner borrow my first iPad after I'd upgraded. She'd take it into the bathroom. I never touched it because of that and I probably cleaned it when she gave it back to me.
Waterluvian 2 hours ago||
But there aren’t enough shampoo bottles to read.
jareklupinski 2 hours ago||
that explains Dr Bronner's branding
maguay 2 hours ago|||
There are dozens of us!
jhfdbkofdchk 2 hours ago||
Yes yes I know this contains sodium laureth sulfate what else have you got?
david-gpu 2 hours ago|||
Aqua and sodium chloride. Because saying water and salt doesn't sound posh enough, somehow.
pasc1878 2 hours ago||
No it is diversity.

The ingredients have to be understandable by non English speakers – so water is out.

As for salt which one?

zerr 2 hours ago|||
Cocamidopropyl betaine is a must for me.
sethammons 3 hours ago||
Flip side: more sitting on the toilet ensures a more complete emptying and less rushing/straining.
al_borland 2 hours ago||
Flip side: sitting too long on the toilet increases hemorrhoid risk. [0]

Not having a distraction doesn’t mean a person needs to strain.

[0] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12407481/

squidbeak 2 hours ago||
Long-time toiletsitter, here. No haemorrhoids.
folkrav 2 hours ago||
Some people don’t die from cancer after smoking their whole lives either.
squidbeak 2 hours ago||
I can tell you're not going to like it if I light up next time I sit down to it.
VeninVidiaVicii 2 hours ago||
Ah ol smoop
iterateoften 3 hours ago||
? What? A healthy colon and diet usually do not need to strain or rush. Just sit and poop. like 1min tops.
squidbeak 3 hours ago|||
You need to get that dysentery tended to.
iterateoften 2 hours ago|||
? Sorry? A healthy colon and diet it’s not liquid or messy. A nice type 4 normal solid log that slides on out.

I’m very scared for most people I see online discussing BMs. People have some seriously twisted up guts and diets.

squidbeak 29 minutes ago|||
Are you trying to let people know you're a generator of superior fecal matter? If so, there's no need to apologize for it. Carry that stuff with pride.
VeninVidiaVicii 2 hours ago|||
It seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm.
wizzwizz4 2 hours ago|||
Everyone's gut is different, but one minute isn't unreasonably short, especially if you have something like a bidet for fast cleaning afterwards. Are you sure you're not constipated?
squidbeak 2 hours ago||
I'm fine, enjoying my book.
cpncrunch 1 hour ago||
Don't you think that if you have time to read your book then you don't really need to poop yet? Why not just wait until you're ready to go in?
squidbeak 31 minutes ago||
Who says the readers are waiting while they sit? What's the rush out of there? Maybe this will make the concept easier for you to understand -

Restaurant: sit, eat, drink, chatter, coats, car, home.

Toilet: sit, splash, tinkle, read, wipe, wash, out.

cpncrunch 3 minutes ago||
Sure, but the actual splash act just takes a minute at most, and usually about 10 seconds for me. I don't understand how you can have time to read anything.
PeterStuer 1 hour ago|||
Rocketman the Master Blaster, is that you?
drnick1 1 hour ago||
HN readership and comments would greatly decline if people did not usr their phones in the can.
firefoxd 1 hour ago||
If Hank had a Smartphone, Heisenberg would still be on the loose. What about reading poems?
BLKNSLVR 1 hour ago|
My parents had the Desiderata 'poem' on the back of the toilet door when I was growing up, so I read it a thousand times.

Being older and reading it again, it's a beautiful sentiment and something that, I think, seeped into my subconscious and made me a better person.

My favorite line:

"You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here"

https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html

tigerlily 1 hour ago|
Oh, thank you, what a lovely choice of text. I wonder if your parents meant for you to read it?

My sister mentioned to me recently she has a print of Wild Geese by Mary Oliver on the back of her bathroom door. Your quotation made me think of her poem.

https://allpoetry.com/poem/15374223-Wild-geese-by-Mary-J-Oli...

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